Countdown to Armageddon, on my mark

It seems to have progressed well beyond the rumor stage that Senior Citizens Inc., kicked unceremoniously from their previous home, is going to shack up with the American Legion.
This seems like a win-win for both sides (apparently they are just waiting for a cook), as the Seniors needed a building and the Legion needs money.  Plus Med-X is right next door, so Little Debbie won't have too far to walk.

Sadly, this reckless decision has started the countdown clock to Estes Park's catastrophic devastation, the destruction Bobbsey #1 clearly warned was coming if two senior centers were allowed to co-exist in one town.  You can see clouds gathering in this very picture, likely preparing to unloose Zeus' thunderbolts on the ignorant masses.  Stephen King didn't coin the phrase "Rip a Carrie" for nothing.  It's coming folks.  You'll be lucky if you get penetrated by only 30 sharpened knives.  And all of you who failed to heed the Bobbsey prophet's warnings are to blame.

How could we be stupid enough to allow something like this to happen?  Which Senior Center will fail first?  Will we ever learn?  Will Bobbsey #1 survive to celebrate Bobbsey #2's next birthday?  Oh, the humanity.
This video probably won't help, and now that those f***** selfish Seniors went and pulled this instead of crawling off and dying, you might not even be around long enough to watch to the end of it, but some of us feel like we have to do something, even if our sacrifices are just empty gestures.

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