Are you a binge drinker?
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently reported that one in six Americans binge drink weekly (defined as four or more drinks (alcohol content not defined) per occasion for women, and five or more drinks for men - Actual reported results among the study group were an average of seven (!) drinks per occasion. This is not just a problem of youth - half the binge drinkers were over 35 years of age.
If you are in church right now, look to your left and your right. Then have those people look to their left or right. If none of you are binge drinkers, that leaves your pastor. I would check levels of the communion wine bottles.
You never know how accurate these reports are, or how applicable they are locally - If you went to Lonegans yesterday, it would have been 8 out of 6, if you went up to Good Sams, it would have likely been 5 out of 6, with the sixth person sneaking lighter fluid chased with mouthwash If you're looking at our town trustees, well, that would be something they should probably answer, because I'm not going to start throwing charges around. My guess is, of the current hospital board plus the CEO, if they all don't binge drink, they should probably start soon.
I don't have to worry. If binge drinking is harmful (my guess is, it is, despite our town board granting alcoholic beverage licenses like they were going out of style), even retroactively, unless it's milk I'm clean. But I do appreciate all the dumb people who drink to excess padding our sales tax and filling our emergency rooms and running our EDC. Enjoy spring break, and remember, ladies and gents, tampons soaked in vodka get you just as wasted, and you don't have to worry about the extra calories, depending on where you insert them. But if you are spring breaking in Florida, don't drink and drive, or drink and drive under bridges.
If you are in church right now, look to your left and your right. Then have those people look to their left or right. If none of you are binge drinkers, that leaves your pastor. I would check levels of the communion wine bottles.
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| Penguins after Jaegerbombs |
You never know how accurate these reports are, or how applicable they are locally - If you went to Lonegans yesterday, it would have been 8 out of 6, if you went up to Good Sams, it would have likely been 5 out of 6, with the sixth person sneaking lighter fluid chased with mouthwash If you're looking at our town trustees, well, that would be something they should probably answer, because I'm not going to start throwing charges around. My guess is, of the current hospital board plus the CEO, if they all don't binge drink, they should probably start soon.
I don't have to worry. If binge drinking is harmful (my guess is, it is, despite our town board granting alcoholic beverage licenses like they were going out of style), even retroactively, unless it's milk I'm clean. But I do appreciate all the dumb people who drink to excess padding our sales tax and filling our emergency rooms and running our EDC. Enjoy spring break, and remember, ladies and gents, tampons soaked in vodka get you just as wasted, and you don't have to worry about the extra calories, depending on where you insert them. But if you are spring breaking in Florida, don't drink and drive, or drink and drive under bridges.
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