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Showing posts from 2019

Let's see, how many of our trustees receive Social Security again?

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Let's play "Guess Who Said This?"  Do you think it was a liberal, a conservative, a young man, an older woman, who?  Submit your guesses in the comments box, and the winner will receive a place on an open spot on whatever Estes Park commission or non-profit currently has lost a member through death or removal through indifference, provided you qualify by being over a century old. Meanwhile, let's return to our regularly scheduled meeting "The Makeup Of Every Board In Estes Park Except For The Token White Woman, Unless It's A Board Comprised Exclusively Of Older White Women With One Token Older White Man"

Ouch

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When you have a $20,000+ special election with results indicating that those registered voters who didn't vote would have had to vote 75% in the opposite direction of how those who did vote voted, the message sent to the potheads is "Don't bring this back anytime soon." When the geritocracy girds their loins, they somehow find a way to waddle down to the ballot box and let the Estes Park young people know that alcohol is the only respected, sanctioned drug of choice up heyah in the holler.  So the Newberrys should open a distillery.  DUIs are tolerated and practically welcomed in Estes Park, it's almost a rite of passage and guarantee of holding your appointed position on the various vanity boards in town created solely to support the wine and hard liquor industry.  We don't need a county health department inspecting food, we need an assigned representative of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms on site making the crucial measurements of lead and

What Hath Dog Rot?

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Idaho Springs takes a page from the Estes Park recall playbook, courtesy of the Schneiders https://coloradosun.com/2019/12/10/michael-hillman-mayor-idaho-springs-recall/

Mari Me

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Not thrilled with this, but early returns indicate sweeping support for MJ legalization throughout the state.  In 2012. Colorado has been potified since January 2014, and next month will complete the sixth year of the experiment.  Estes Park's Cali contingent and the bed-head liberals (fire one up, Tom Street, and save the world while you're at it) have decided that Pot is Alright and the Kids are Alright and charging for parking is cool, Daddy-O, but the sentiment among the rank and toasted is decidedly anti-refer to the reefer.  Estes will tolerate another 50 breweries and vaperies before one dispensary sullies our tawdry town.  All of you hippo-critters need to stop shouting and touting and start accomplishing real internet routing.  Estes is intellectually sterile and can't field a winning football team to save its life.  But we can sure march down the main street and light it up, right?  Oh, sorry, pay outside contractors to light it up.  Dismissed.

You kinda did hear it here first

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Suddenly, one week later, the "unacceptable" restaurant rating at the Stanley is news?  Hummm.  You want the Larimer County Health Inspector's restaurant ratings as they hit the press, who ya gonna call?

Donuts. We got donuts.

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Remember this place?  Yeah, me neither, but soon you'll be able to forget it sold donuts in 2020. You didn't hear it hear first - The detective work was done on Facebook, but Donut Haus donuts will be available next year in the Tiny Town Gas Station out on Moraine, shipped up from Loveland, and the little shacky building directly across from it, as of next year, will be selling, you guessed it - DONUTS.  Exclusively.  And likely for a limited time only. Val Thompson of "You Need Pie" claims she was in the process of obtaining the recipes from the Donut Haus ladies, hence the need for a location in the former "Soda Splash"/"Chicken Fried Latte" dumpster on a concrete foundation.  Somehow the rug got pulled out from under her, and unless that building and the drive-throughs approaching it are drastically renovated, she will be next on the list to fail at this address, but, for a sweet, sweet window of time next summer, tourists and locals alike

Tell us what you really think, though, Dick

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At some point, Dick Spielman needs to stop sugar-coating stuff and tell everyone how he REALLY feels.  Did someone put oatmeal in your pee, Dick? Transcription:  Mayor, trustees, and county commissioners, You may have noticed that I stayed away from the "Coaster Fiasco".  I did not write or speak to any of you concerning the events leading up to Cody's [Cody Rex Walker's] recall.  Being quiet about such things is not in my nature [,] but I have an inherent dislike of the recall process.  This is not to say that I approved of any of the slimy actions leading to the code changes that allowed that project to go forward [,] or that I approved of the unethical behavior (perceived or not) that the Town staff and some of you took part in.  Even if you were not involved in the wrong doing [sic, suggest wrongdoing] [,] you should have spoken up and condemned it.  I have always felt that at least one of the town staff should have been fired.  At least staff should have bee

Molly B victim impact statements, compiled and translated from Mandarin Chinese

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The suspect in the Estes Park "Molly B" restaurant obviously didn’t spend the three weeks ignoring police requests for an interview crafting a plausible defense for her behavior on the afternoon of 18 October 2019.   Instead, she fabricated a lazy, self-contradictory, racist defense, blatantly attempting to shift blame to her victims, ignoring the fact that her victims have security camera footage and cell phone videos from the time of her entry into their establishment until she and her companion fled the scene.    Her dismissive references to the Lee brothers as “speaking in an unintelligible language” and use of diminutives like “the little one” to describe them display a sense of entitlement, as if her victims were essentially subhuman, and a xenophobic lack of empathy.   Sadly, the suspect’s own words, which she had three weeks to perfect, should be measured and crafted to advocate her side of the story and reflect her character in the best possible light.   Instea

When I saw the headline

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Tonight's special at the Stanley - Fish a la hookworm I knew Estes Park wouldn't disappoint I knew two things right away - (1) The excellent rating would not go to an Estes Park restaurant and (2) the unacceptable rating would definitely go to an Estes Park restaurant. How 'bout them Cowboys?  Naturally we reeled in one of the unacceptables, and guess who it is? Why take the ghost tour when you can take the much more enjoyable "Retching Salmonella" tour?  Or the "Is that Hep A in my Salad?" tour? Estes Park - We just keep ignoring the unacceptable inspections at fake 4-star restaurants (Remember when Dave's Bar-B-Q and Nepal Cafe were our only unacceptables?), and we just keep shining as the toilet bowl of Larimer County eateries.  Who needs Doctor Sleep when we have Doctor (Runny) Poop?

And could we please start doing a better job of

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holding criminals who commit crimes rather than releasing them to commit more crimes?  Any chance any of these three women were passengers in a black BMW 325i sedan mentioned a few posts back?  How are we doing on finding that individual, or even contacting the car owner for an explanation of why he befriends violent criminals?

Could you be a little more tentative to my needs?

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These "Hotel Reviews by Idiots" gems may become a recurring thing.

Estes Park finds itself yet again at the bottom of the barrel

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Seriously, these restaurant inspections never get better.  The majority of Estes Park restaurants are always marginal or unacceptable.  And nobody in Estes Park does a damn thing about it.  What is the point of restaurant inspections except for shutting the noxious violators down?  Why do locals keep being force fed food that is stored and prepared improperly?  The CDC probably has Estes Park Health on speed dial (except the cafeteria at the hospital is also diarrhea-inducing).  C'mon Estes Park.  Do you read the newspapers?  Do you care about the health and well-being of yourselves, your family, and those part-time residents and visitors to our fair (and marginal, and unacceptable) community?

The driver of the BWM 325i black sedan is called "Alex"

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And the license plate couldn't be more clear.  Colorado MEQ-422, expires 2020. So why, again, are the local Estes Park police having trouble finding the owner of this vehicle?

On the trail of the Lonesome Pine

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Who would have ever believed a generic photo of the Lone Pine would finally push me past the Bill Berry long-standing record of 77% completion within a block of 100 Sanborn RPPCs? Apologies for this view, recycled from Sanborn's pre-Sawyer days and likely first released under this newly-assigned alphanumeric code about the time the actual Lone Pine out on High Drive lacked most of its needles and branches and was soon to blow away, one likely reason this particular card sold so poorly. The significance of the shot is minimal, the significance to my collection is palpable, as in my heart started palpating when it showed up on Ebay, because it meant, once I acquired it, I had pushed the needle in the R-1500 block in my collection from 77 to 78, thus besting a record I didn't think would be surpassed in my collecting lifetime, that of Bill Berry's acquisition of 77 out of 100 potential views released by Sanborn, albeit in a different block.   (For non-collectors, acquiri

Whoa Nellie

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You're saying that W.T. Parke, identified as "Mr. Parke" at the top of this photograph, liked to take pictures of little girls?  Be still my beating heart.  William T., the 60-year-old bachelor accused in 1917 of molesting a 14-year-old adolescent, had an unhealthy attraction to little girls? What should we do about this?  Should we distance ourself from him, and from this abhorrent activity?  Naah, how about we collectively as a town create a statue in his honor, give him a pika, a fetish object for children of all ages to run around looking for.  Maybe the little boys could look up the little girls' dresses for their pika, like John Simms, the other man accused of molesting this girl, confessed to, and was sent away to the penitentiary. When I think of all that our previous town administrator accomplished, I can't help but glow with pride at how, during the height of the "Me Too" movement, he had the balls to honor an accused child molester wit

50 Best Bars list released

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This looks a bit like my study, minus all the bottles Lonigan's nowhere on the list.  I've been to one of them, probably half of them will close in the next six months, so hurry if this is a checklist you must complete before you die. 50 Best Bars somehow omits The Wheel

Poll: This past week

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two different individuals indicated they would come over to the shop.  Neither one did.  What should I say the next time they say they are planning a visit? A.  Sure.  Looking forward to it. B.  Sure.  Is this to make up for the last time you said you would come over and didn't? C.  Great.  I would ordinarily be there at that time, and will tell you I'll be there, but in truth, I'll make sure I'm out, so you know how if feels to be told something unprompted and not follow through. D.  Whatever.  I have other things to do that worry over you deigning to make an appearance. Votes will be tallied and published in next week's Trail-Gazette.

I had a Diahann Carroll "Julia" doll growing up

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Sometime prior to your death, make sure to tell your publicist there are better photographs of you out there.  For some reason, everyone is using the "bloated" Diahann Carroll images from later in life.  The younger generation may not realize she was a fantastically attractive, multi-talented woman. Remember this cookware?  Who has a soup tureen nowadays?

This is funny

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Suggestions for the next stages of advocacy: (1) Contact and meet with Eric Lund, the new CEO of Visit Estes Park (2) Meet with Martchink and Blackhurst and speak to Carly (sic) Bangs via phone or skype (3) Create a list of people who are willing to provide oral interviews for the museum (4) Develop a list of supporters in town (5) Revise FAQs to explain how interviewers will be trained in response to comments made by Meissner (?) (6) Suggested themes/topics for oral interviews are (a) Hispanic community, (b) materials for EP school programs, (c) wildlife, (d) disasters, (e) local government, (f) history of local non-profits (7) Ask for support from Women's [sic] Club (headed by ??), League of Women Voters (Liz Zornes, president, and Bobby [sic] can approach them) (8) Ask for letters of support from (a) Jim Pickering, (b) Cybil [sic], (c) Hazeltons (9) Kurtis and Marcia will go to the next mayor's meeting on Friday, Sept 27 at 7:00 a.m., if there is a meeting.

"Cokie" (not her real name) Boggs Roberts dead at the age of 75

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Complications of breast cancer.  Likable, tough, prepared - a Washington insider who didn't cudgel you with it.  She and Ric Ocasek were the same age (if you believe Ric Ocasek) - guess who had the bigger impact and guess who deserved to have the bigger impact.

Never a good sign to be "found dead"

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He and his third wife, former model Paulina Porizkova, reportedly separated "sometime last year".  Rico had six sons (no daughters, must have manufactured Y sperm exclusively) and one of the best music videos ever AT THE TIME.

We used to shoot for "FAIR"

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Now we just settle for "MARGINAL".  That is one level above "UNACCEPTABLE".  And "UNACCEPTABLe" is one step above the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention booking the next flight out.  Bon appetit, Estes Park gourmands.  Enjoy your blueberry cheesecake.

CO 511 QVI

No front license plate

"When you're single in college,

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you don't care who gets married.  Now, I can't stand to see a girl walk down the aisle in a movie."                                                ---Rhoda Morgenstern (Valerie Harper) in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" Valerie Harper, born 1939 died 2019.  Still so very attractive and unthreateningly witty at the age of 80.

Poem cycle

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I went down to Clear Creek To see the fish I found a dead one Mission Unaccomplished

Lost another one

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A potential end to the Diana Van Der Plosion legacy.

Total Recall

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I don't have the numbers in front of me, but it was around 1300 yes to 900 no, with 1100 people voting for Eric Blackhurst.  I was completely wrong about a large turnout (around 50% of the registered voters) being indicative of silent support finally manifesting itself.  I feel horrible for Cody, and mystified by the support that never materialized.  Cody was done a disservice by his supporters' passivity and timidity and by the ease of conflating a local issue with national politics.  In contrast, the opposition did a very effective job of campaigning, with more energy and better planning and a more effective use of social media and the free press.  By every proxy measure - letters to the editor, FB likes ("Congested Estes" versus "True Grit"), website updates, cheating to win a meaningless newspaper poll, they just worked harder, and motivated their rank and file better. Apres moi, le deluge.  Sit back and hold on, Estes Park, because as I said six mon

Lyons Recorder shutting its doors

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The last issue of the Recorder you'll ever read Facebook and blogs to blame.  The weekly Lyons Recorder, which predated any Estes Park attempt at journalism, began publishing right at the turn of the twentieth century, but couldn't last through through the first fifth of the twenty-first.  RIP Lyons Recorder, and please don't throw away the bound volumes and hard copies, because the microfilm work done by the state in the 1960s was atrocious.

I couldn't find an actual boot on a grill

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But I think it is very much an unacceptable restaurant idea.  Meanwhile, back in Estes Park, two more restaurants are on the verge of unacceptable.  They are marginal.  Don't you love recommending a "marginal" place to your friends?  Not margarine, the butter substitute, imperfect but okay in a pinch.  Marginal.

Breaking: Jeffrey Epstein found dead in cell

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Note the resemblance? Hanged himself, likely suicide.  So at least some people who sexually abuse young girls have a conscience.  12 pica-wide article to follow.

So the trend continues

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This is what the toilet looks like in a "marginal" restaurant Oh Nicky, you're not so fine, you not so fine I threw up chunks oh Nicky, oh Nicky. Two more bottom of the barrel restaurants in Larimer County to avoid.  Run, do not walk, to your nearest hospital after ingesting the bacteria-laden smorgasblob at these less than fair establishments.

So the Nebraska/Colorado/Utah Life business model

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is to avoid paying rent at a physical location?  Sounds like a business model destined to produce content disconnected from the folks who live there.

So we've got one senior center and another senior center

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Maybe as the population ages even more, we could have a senior center on every block.  It is wonderful to build a multi-generational community center, and then do such a poor job of attracting the seniors (by promising them a kitchen and then, presto change-o, yanking it away), they go out and create their own uni-generational stew pot.

So I've got good news and bad news.

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The good news is, my favorite restaurant, "Ride-A-Kart", home of the filet de popcorn and the T-bone Slushee, is right there at the top of the Larimer County EXCELLENT list.  I'm also pleased to see that the Stanley Hotel dug itself out of the crap hole it was dwelling in, and is now GOOD.  (Where do you want to eat?  The Stanley Hotel is good, meaning okay, meaning not great.) The very bad news is that two Larimer County restaurants are officially UNACCEPTABLE, and one of them is the main (original) location of Smokin Dave's right here in Estes Park.  Just when I thought Cousin Pat's was going to take the prize for local food joint most likely to have the main course followed by hospitalization (rather than dessert), Smokin Dave's steps in all brown-eyed and salmonella-laden.