epgarbage

If it's in or near the heart of downtown, perched on the top of a failed or failing commercial conglomerate, and features "roach-o taco" prominently on the menu, you should probably look elsewhere, like, unfortunately, Dairy Queen, the only "restaurant" in Estes Park to receive an "excellent" grade on the latest inspection sweep. See every other post made on this topic in the past two months.  Estes Park's signature eateries continue to float above the toilet bowl of marginal, and occasionally, certain restaurants dip into this toilet bowl.  Refried bowel movement, anyone?

https://www.npr.org/programs/all-things-considered/ So says the Memphis mayor, Jim Strickland, white member of the NAACP, unabashed supporter of the move to rid Memphis of a racially-offensive Nathan Bedford Forrest statue defiantly defiling a city park.  "Statues are for honoring people."  Is this a revolutionary concept?  Is this belief somehow confined only to cities and towns east of the Mississippi?  Is it one that Estes Park's leaders somehow never learned, or think is an optional criterion in the statue-building field?  In Estes Park, we use our limited statue budget to honor pedophiles and racists.  And the town just giggles when these concerns are raised and says, "Oh, bother."  If it was their child, their young son or daughter being sexually abused, I wonder if our town leaders would be so quick to dismiss calls asking for removal of monuments to pedophiles? Margaret Baldwin had a name.  She had a birth mother, Nellie Hollembeak.  She grew up

Not behind this tree Near Mount Meeker.  So he sent us a final clue, and it was apparently a national park ranger who found the body.  Near Mount Meeker.  The tree stripes were a red herring.  He was found near Mount Meeker.  The lesson here is, when you hike alone, take a photograph and send it to friends and family just before you get lost.  Oh, wait, Brian Perri did.  The volunteers searching for him just ignored the message, and had him bushwacking 14 miles back to his vehicle.  How to locate missing things:  Go to the place where the item was last seen, and expand the search radius outward.  Next time, when you hear hoof beats, think Meeker.

Yecck.  I can't quite fit VEP in this sack of hammers, but juxtaposition is always helpful, so things can be ranked. Dumbest, most backwards-ass people on earth: 3.  Your typical West Virginia pimp who has just won $10,000 on a scratch card he stole from some Pennsylvania tourist's wallet, but almost threw it away because he didn't recognize initially it was a winner, because he didn't know 15 matched with 15. 2.  VEP 1.  David Pelfrey.

Let's expand:  Are there any men left in America who haven't used their position of power to harass and abuse women, young boys, turtles, lampposts, anything they can grab, tongue, or rub their genitalia on?

Like shooting pikas in a barrel.  Is there any man in a position of power left out there in America who hasn't harassed and abused women?

   Burn it.  Burn it to the ground.  Visit Estes Park has demonstrated it cannot be reigned in, and has no concept of why wasting taxpayer money on silly behavior is reprehensible.  VEP is a cancer, and it needs to be destroyed before it makes Estes Park look more like a rube town, or a West Virginia pimp who just won the lottery.  End it now.

This is not a good 5-day chart, unless you like cliff jumping.  You don't need a subscription to the Motley Fool to recognize the good times couldn't last, especially when younger people are leaving Facebook in droves because their parents camp out on it more than they do.

Exile in Whiteville (this is actually Reno, Nevada, but could easily double for Lake Estes) When Monserrat A. Matehuala worked for Eagle Rock school in Estes Park, Colorado, she'd regularly drive an hour outside town to visit a small, family-owned restaurant that served Mexican food.  As one of a few people of color living in Estes Park, she craved time surrounded by people who spoke Spanish and danced to her kind of music.  "That was my self-care back then," Matehuala told me.  "As an outdoor educator, it's hard for me to bring in that cultural part of my identity, which is so important for myself and my survival."  For many people of color who love the outdoors, this story is familiar.  Often, the areas most famously known for their natural beauty and access to outdoor recreation are also the country's least diverse...

Well, we could grab a half-price dog at Sonic, or we could treat ourselves to a near-marginal meal at Nicky's.  Estes Park, how is it that Fort Collins restaurant inspections consistently rate excellent or good, and all our restaurant inspections float just above the toilet bowl of marginal?

We can award this pika posthumously, or waive the normal 10-year waiting period given the horrific nature of the crime.

When Grand Junction's intrepid investigative reporter Joe Vaccarelli spoke to me earlier this year, I said, "Give it two years, but mark my words, Miss Forgery will ask for a boost in her "paltry" salary sooner rather than later, and hold out threats of being recruited by Vail and Aspen." We didn't even have to wait two years.  Currently, early polling of those crazy passionate voters suggests they are unwilling to push Miss Forgery's salary into the six-figure range she demands, but I'm sure the city council will intervene if the November vote doesn't go her way.

Attorney Prestridge:  Did he touch your breasts? Margaret Baldwin:  Yes. Attorney Prestridge:  Did he touch your legs? Margaret Baldwin:  Yes Attorney Prestridge:  Did he touch your private parts? Margaret Baldwin:  Yes. Margaret Baldwin was 14 years old at the time these "alleged" incidents occurred.  She died in a girl's reform school the following year, sent there for unclear reasons, unless it was become of the "crime" of becoming pregnant at the hands of her abusers. William T. Parke, the defendant, the "he" in these questions, was 60 years old at the time he was accused of touching a 14-year-old girl's private parts. And how does Estes Park react?  By giving William T. Parke his own honorary statue.  High Five.

Mmmm, Starbucks... Rape and pedophilia are not laughing matters.  In fact, in Estes Park they are matters that earn you an honorary pika.  James Gunn, you horrible person, come on up to Estes Park and tell us where to put your pika.

Your Loveland sculptor buddy can certainly make one for you, and place it near Schrader Oil...

Clearly, "Rev." Lemus-Alvarez's pika needs to go in front of the Old Church Shops.

We gotta lotta pikas to churn out.  For a family of abusers, maybe stick them all out at the Y?

Then we could turn it into a museum, and glorify you alongside F.O. Stanley for your brilliant racist writings.

And place it near the Golden Arches?  Indecent liberties with a child?  Heck, get in line.  In Estes Park, we fawn over folks who commit indecent liberties with a child.  We give them their own honorary pika. For those of you keeping track...

 Would you like it outside Kirks Fly Shop (nudge nudge)?

or Sgt. Pepper's, you choice.

And why is he still missing after 18 days? I'm all for volunteers looking for a missing individual.  That is, I'm all for this exercise one or two or three or four days after an individual (hiker/survivalist/backwoodsman) goes missing.  18 days?  He's way past the point of needing water, and on the verge of becoming incapacitated from lack of food.  Yelling his name when you go off trail is admirable, but at this point, useless.  Either he is dead, unconscious/comatose, or, split town on the midnight train, and used the summit of Mt. Meeker as an excuse to gain a good head start. Let's start actively considering the latter before too much longer, shall we?  Let's start asking ourselves about bank accounts, recent loves found or lost, any musings he's made in the past year about "ditching all of this and becoming a rail-hopper".  Because the mountains are big but not that big, and wild animals are scarce but not that scarce, and after 18 da

A message from Bill and Sue and Jim and the other racist members of the Stanley Historic Home Foundation:  There may never be another chance for whites to remain the dominant race in Colorado.  Please join us!  [Note:  Exclamation points are the racist tell.  Pass it on.]

Every Sunday, Brian trots out recycled nostalgia diarrhea to hang from the Jib, and the blue hairs swoon. "Oh, Brian, your ability to name drop three Estes Park businesses in a row from the 1970s makes me want to drive my Chevy van down to the levee with my Kodachrome and that's all right with me." "Oh, Brian, you are such a gentle wordsmith, perhaps you could write a column for Harper's magazine, I'm sure they see your gift for talking ad nauseam about your experiences running a long-defunct radio station with an audience of 37 people, mostly shut-ins and drunks, as so very "Northern Exposure" meets "Hints from Heloise" and all that.  Could I get your autograph?" Brian Schaefer is one of those patronizing do-gooders who wants to deny Estes Park citizens their right to vote or think, unless they vote and think just like him.  Think Pol Pot or the Devil, Brian lays the schmooze on thick, like country bacon, then pins your abil

Wow.  This is the first break in ranks among the ruling class I've seen in Estes Park in 20+ years.  Is something going on the overlords have yet to deign revealing to us subhuman mud-dwellers?

It turns out we won't be needing no Loop.

Or could we move it next to the F.O. Stanley home and do a racist two-fer?

See this fascinating article about a fascinating project to reduce orientations of city streets to basic histograms.   https://slate.com/business/2018/07/manhattanhenge-exists-in-your-city-too.html And start planning your move to Tampa, Florida.

Interesting that Dave Winsome thinks he was attacked by one of the speakers at last night's town board meeting.  Where are these attacks?  How does he draw this conclusion about who posted these apparently non-existent attacks?  Does he have access to the Facebook user database?  Interesting that Dave Winsome attributes his lack of participation, and those of the other no-shows, to "exhaustion".  I too would be worn out by having to defend my continuing endorsement of pro-Loop candidates (CDIV, the ART project) while I was selling no-Loop signs. Dave Winsome should never consider himself the leader or figurehead of the no-Loop movement.  If he was, he would have been at last night's meeting, instead of trying to stir the pot once again after the meeting he failed to attend.  Nice to hide behind a fake identity and lob grenades, eh, Davie Dave? Dave - Are you absolutely sure you know the individual behind Carole Wallis?  Again, are you absolutely sure?  Does it hur

This "broke" on Estes Truth late last night, but other, better eyes, had already come across it on the Community Development page last week.  Yes, right, we are getting an urgent care facility on the sloping lot on Big Thompson Ave. across from the 9-hole golf course.  Yes, right, it's not a wellness center, but it will serve as a distraction for one, because, look, donuts. We've always needed a really ugly "business park box" topped with apartments in town, and now we have one.  Go to Nederland if you want to see these cubbies already in play.  If you wanted to make something more sterile and unfriendly, your would have to irradiate a hairless alley cat. Ah, the joys of giving John Cullen everything his little heart desires.  You did this, Estes Park.  You brought this upon yourself.  Welcome to suburbia.  Welcome to Ogden, Utah, and Sparks, Nevada, and every other hellhole community in the western United States ruined by good intentions and people no

Blueberry.  Go figure.

Our current spokesperson Look, I'm as no-Loop as the next guy, but how can Estes Truth have a going-out-of-business, goodbye-forever sale one month, then reopen for business as if it were all a dream four weeks later, and have any credibility remaining, especially after endorsing a Pro-Loop candidate in the most recent town board election?  Faced with the hypocrisy of his "write" hand not knowing what his left hand was doing, carrying and selling signs to one side at the same time he was in the pocket of the other side, ET did an about face in the recent hospital board election fiasco, and promoted the radical and completely useless idea of NOT VOTING.  Now that sent a message.  The hospital board certainly got that hint, and stanched the flow of departing physicians, right? What a philosophy.  It's as if ET doesn't understand how the process of advocating for a particular side or a particular set of beliefs works.  Resolve in the face of opposition is th

One month starting at "pristine", and they have already been downrated by the health inspectors as an unimpressive "fair"?

No, not the Dalai Lama, Mipham "The Perv" Rinpoche, the guy handing him the award

You know, the original home of wrestling...