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Showing posts from January, 2019

Let's all go to the Broncos game

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And let's outfit ourselves with new jackets and scarves, not advertising Estes Park or Rocky Mountain National Park, but advertising the Denver Broncos, because, hey, we don't want to look like rubes. When you pay $250 a night to stay a Ridgeline, a former Holiday Inn, tourists, this is what your 2% lodging tax goes for - A Broncos junket, complete with an overnight stay (because hey, it's almost 90 minutes from Estes Park to Mile High Stadium) and Broncos junk. 

The Ridgeline has 20,000 feet of meeting space AND a Conference Center?

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I think someone is not being entirely honest in calculating meeting space, unless the Ridgeline includes meetings conducted in bedrooms as adding to their meeting space.  But meetings in hotel rooms are not called meetings, they are called assignations, or horizontal integrations. Want a $27 hamburger?  Ridgeline is your place. Fess up, Ridgeline, did our town administrator already promise you complete run of the conference center 25 years before it was scheduled to be turned over?

They're called "deadlines" for a reason

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And EPIC has one coming up.  An $11,000,000 one.  Maybe they can start buying lottery tickets with the $25 left from Al "Mint" Milano's salary.  Talk about a waste of FOSH funds.  Maybe they pay one of Michael Jackson's sleepover pals $25 to film an iPhone documentary about how to squander all the goodwill you have left in the community.

Shutdown over, next shutdown February 15

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 So will we get the State of The Union address in House chambers on Tuesday next week?

Howdy pard

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Ride steady.  Rope ready.   Drink heavy. This is your latest Vic Anderson contribution from the Estes Trailer Park Gazette: "I think I was about 15 or 16 when I lost my virginity.  To an old broken down heiferette.  I had just come in from a long ride over the Togwotee Pass in Wyoming, rubbed raw from the terrain and the fact that I had my left hand down my button-fly jeans most of the time.  She was there in the corral, a real beaut, lathered up, never been ridden before..." You get the idea.  Read more on subjects in no way relevant to Estes Park from Estes Park's resident cowboy poet at  www.wasteofspace.com

Bryan Singer sex with underage boys pika blah blah blah next

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Hi - I'm Bryan, and I'm a pedophile.  Can I direct your next blockbuster movie? This story is getting so old - Powerful man has sex with underage youth, denies everything, gets honorary pika outside Charley Dickey's store, etc., etc.

Oh the horrible horrible shutdown

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So much for Charley Dickey's survey.  Just one question, though:  Who is the "leadership" at estes.org, and how is it they deserve their own email?

How about this trade?

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If Donald J. Trump submitted a proposal trading his presidency for the wall (steel barrier, metal slats, whatever), would Democrats finally admit what their true motives for continuing the shutdown are? I would love it if we dropped all this nonsense about the Dreamers and DACA and just got to the heart of what rank and file Democrats really want - An end to Republicans being elected to the highest office in the land. Donald, you want to finally pull the rug out from the Democrat's pious nonsense?  Give them what they really want.  Aren't you about tired of life in Washington?  Just say "I'll resign immediately if you give me the wall that my constituents elected me to build" and see how many excuses they can manufacture at that point for forcing TSA agents into slave labor. Who really wants this shutdown?  How many stories can NPR shoehorn in about furloughed government firefighters pulling down $60K a year (with their spouses working another job which is

Gosh, just what I said yesterday

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Isn't it wonderful how Estes Park gets its national news one day early, not from our town administrator or our paper of record, but courtesy of the Garbage Collector? https://slate.com/technology/2019/01/close-national-parks-government-shutdown.html

Finally, business owners other than Charley Dickey and Diane Muno

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were interviewed for a news story.  One of the businesses selected is laughable (BTEC hasn't seen a significant drop in business because BTEC didn't have any business to begin with - the joke store on Moraine pays no rent and just is a vanity storage facility for the owner's hobbies, with an open sign to justify having a vanity storage facility for the owner's hobbies), but at least Charley Dickey didn't give his nonsense statistics about how Christmas week at his store was 15% better than Christmas week a year ago, without providing any indication what these actual numbers were (up from $10 in sales to $11.50 in sales, or did Charley sell a couple more pedophile pikas?) and Diane Muno didn't get the opportunity to tell the world once again how many stores she owns.  In any event, the Trail-Gazette doesn't have articles or writers like this - Why not? https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/15/opinion/shutdown-national-parks-economy.html

So do people's votes count?

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Biggest defeat to a ruling government in Britain since the 1920s Seems like the citizens of the U.K. already voted on leaving the European Union.  Now it seems like, because the method of Theresa May's leaving the EU has been overwhelmingly rejected and her government likely dissolved in the coming days by a vote of "no confidence", the people will have to vote again. Maybe government by the people and for the people is just a bit of leftover propaganda from the caveman days.  Maybe we should all just admit that we, the people, don't get to vote on issues of importance to the ruling class, and when we do and the majority votes against the wishes of the ruling class, our votes are shown to be as insignificant as Skittles tossed in the ocean. See, for example, the Loop, the Right to Die issue three years before the Hospital Board, the sale and consumption of marijuana being legal in the state of Colorado, etc., etc., etc. Where are our town board members as fa

No big deal, glad we have the pika sculptor on speed dial

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Slots are rapidly filling up around our various local athletic venues for pikas, but certainly we can make room for a guy who had sexual relations with a 14-year-old, eerily similar to Charley Dickey's favorite pedophile William T. Parke. I'm sure Mr. Wetteland will be found innocent and this is all a big misunderstanding.  Maybe they have his penis in the 14-year-old confused with another Mt. Wetteland in another 14-year-old. Disgusting, isn't it.  Sure wish we could convince our town administrator there are no good pedophiles.

Intelligence shutdown

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When a woman in Omaha, Nebraska, complains to national news that the shutdown has impacted her personally because "I've been getting tens of calls a day from telemarketers pushing opioids and other painkillers, and the hotline I've been calling to complain is not being staffed" I wonder if we should reopen the federal government as an adult daycare facility.  I get that she was a former addict and these calls were an unwelcome reminder and potential trigger, but do we need to pay folks in Washington, D.C., to remind concerned citizens they still have the ability, shutdown or no, to hang up their phone? Except for those that are open but not charging admission fees When Rocky Mountain National Park is closed but then plows its roads, what message does that send, if not a mixed one?  It is currently free to enter Rocky, and most people I know don't need a map or a guide or a ranger to remind them of their God-given ability as human beings to put one foot in fro

Your introduction to the ondes Martenot

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Don't ever say you can't learn something new at this site.  The ondes Martenot was invented in 1928, the same year sliced bread hit the market.  Rarely do you hear people say "the best thing since the ondes Martenot", but if you can slog through the first six minutes of this introductory video, the "Star Trek" theme is your high tide payoff.

Estes Park tops 2018 Larimer County restaurant "unacceptable" rankings

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Larimer County had 16 restaurants rated "unacceptable" during surprise inspections in 2018, and two Estes Park restaurants (no surprise) cracked the coveted list.  I'll let you guess which ones, but they both occupy the top floors of three-story buildings in town, and there aren't a lot of three-story buildings in town.  If "Mi gusto es rancid celery", and raw meats of different species slopped atop one another turn you on, these are the hot spots for you.

What You Find On The Far Side of the Moon

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Finally, thanks to intercepted Chinese intelligence, we have a view of what really exists on the dark side of the Moon.  Don't believe the doctored photos that are making the rounds on "accepted" news outlets.  These are the originals, and they would strike fear into anyone's heart.

No collusion

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What the EPCATS supporters need, besides Fred Barber putting everyone to sleep, is a doctored document or photograph to prove collusion.  Here is the Australian prime minister's official holiday photo, before and after.  (Note:  When you photoshop, make sure you identify which foot is which, and then place the right shoe on the right foot.)

Broncos, welcome your new two-year coach, Vic Fangio

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Too bad the "V" in Vance and Vic doesn't stand for Victory  With a name like a South Beach lounge singer and a mug like the guy who installs brakes at your local Pep Boys, Vic Fangio takes over the Broncos organization until 2020, when both he and John Elway will be axed.  Nothing like hiring the next hotshot up-and-comer.  Vic has toiled as an assistant for 30 years in the NFL, and only turned the Bears defense around when he got Khalil Mack, the LeBron James of the NFL. John, just insert yourself as head coach and be done with it.  Why bring in another stooge who is head coach in name only, and why subject the Broncos to another two years of sub-mediocrity?

The sad, sorry end of the CF that was ET

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What a tool and grode the "hidden" character behind "Estes Truth" was.  The majority of posts in later years were unpaid contributions from others, which apparently went down with the ship as well.  Thanks, friend. The only mysteries left unsolved are why the Iman-Imam keeps posting comments on Estes Park Trail's website (its only reader) under "Just Sprayin Estes" (with his whining old man insights and "you misspelled a word" railings), and why he is attempting to resurrect the long-dead Parkian. The buffoon is dead.  Long live the buffoon.

R. Kelly needs a pika

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And the best possible location for it is outside the town hall restrooms.  Everyone enjoys following clues that guide them towards a pedophile, especially kids, and converges them on a place for kids and adults alike to meet and engage in friendly intercourse.  Charley Dickey is serving on multiple boards that ostensibly are set up to help children, not molest them, so why does he continue to insist on honoring a pedophile outside his place of business?