It's time for another installment of Stupid Criminals from Down South

If the Urquharts think Estes Park residents are all idiots, let's take a glimpse southward, and see what our neighbors are up to.  Here's an amusing incident from Arkansas, home of the last seven Nobel Prize winners in Science and Medicine:
Well, at least no one was killed, right?  The pain of being shot at close range eventually drove Charles to the emergency room, where he made up a story about taking a bullet while protecting an asset.  Luckily, he didn't get shot in the asset, like that kid in Nebraska who indulged in a similar drinking game dare one year earlier.
Here's a heartwarming tale from Georgia, involving alcohol and another set of underage buttocks:
Finally, if you steal Jay-Z tickets, you may want to scalp them outside the venue.  Welcome to Houston, home of the Urquharts and a duo of dumbsters:

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Johanna writes

I'm always fascinated by the question of why Marie Cenac entered local politics

Okay so I'll say it