Further proof the apocalypse is mere moments away

Oaky, this will pit hipsters and fashionistas directly against the "get off my lawn crowd", but if I saw one of these on my lawn, I would probably throw stones at the stupidity of spending $168 on a nonexistent pair of jeans, unless they included a roll of $168 cash in one of the pockets.

But who am I to judge taste?  The manufacturer claims their denim six-string is "sold out".  This is an issue crying for transparency (well, the item itself is already pretty much transparent).  Forget if the feds did or didn't wiretap Cohen, the burning issue among today's intelligentsia is "How many units of this joke were produced initially in order for them to be declared 'sold out'?"
Lest you question the need for knee straps (seriously, and cuffs, they just seem like extraneous fluff, but you know designers, and how they love flourishes), this is active-wear apparel, as demonstrated below.
You can not wear these jeans anywhere - construction site, hockey game, ultra-marathon - these babies are the new dress casual for gals on the go.  (Speaking of which, if you active seniors have any problems with frequent urination or irritable bowel syndrome, why take medication, when you can just update your wardrobe to cut toilet-ready time by half?)

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Johanna writes

I'm always fascinated by the question of why Marie Cenac entered local politics

Okay so I'll say it