Great News About Forking (wink-wink)

For those of you who didn't pick up enough aphrodisiac-related knowledge from bridge club, or were afraid to try, the marketing geniuses at Mary's Lake Lodge came along just at the right time.

Remember Mary's Lake Lodge?  A few years ago, they offered "not safe for anyone" X-rated summer stock theater.  Not only were the groans not enough to make them stop, they've now doubled down, offering Valentine's Day adults-only fare loosely based on a 20-year-old erotic cookbook.

It's winter, you see, and business is down, so why not get the old checkbook more erectbook by having a meal based entirely on leering?  Hope they throw down some canvas tarp in case some of their patrons get so randy they can't make it to their room (car?) before dripping or dropping something on their mate, or shoot their gastric load on random diners beside them.

Of course this is why the Aztecs invented chocolate

Chiles, basil, grapes, strawberries, honey, artichokes, ginger, black beans, oysters, rosemary, edible flowers, seafood, pine nuts, avocado, figs (is there anything that screams sex more than figging?), who knows what will be on Sean Bedford's dirty little mind that evening, as he squats down naked over his bread mixer (careful, those beaters are grabby) and concocts something designed to entice?  Don't forget the chapter on massage oils.  Not for eating, silly.  For rubbing on your partner(s) nether regions, maybe while seated at a booth.

Here's a picture of the authors to help you keep it in your pants, Estes.  Autographed copies of their book will be available (autographed with their tongues dipped in flowing love juice, I trust).  Sadly, this dismissive review will only boost reservations, proving once again that Estes Park truly is high school, only without the athletes.