Great News About Forking (wink-wink)

For those of you who didn't pick up enough aphrodisiac-related knowledge from bridge club, or were afraid to try, the marketing geniuses at Mary's Lake Lodge came along just at the right time.

Remember Mary's Lake Lodge?  A few years ago, they offered "not safe for anyone" X-rated summer stock theater.  Not only were the groans not enough to make them stop, they've now doubled down, offering Valentine's Day adults-only fare loosely based on a 20-year-old erotic cookbook.

It's winter, you see, and business is down, so why not get the old checkbook more erectbook by having a meal based entirely on leering?  Hope they throw down some canvas tarp in case some of their patrons get so randy they can't make it to their room (car?) before dripping or dropping something on their mate, or shoot their gastric load on random diners beside them.
Of course this is why the Aztecs invented chocolate
Chiles, basil, grapes, strawberries, honey, artichokes, ginger, black beans, oysters, rosemary, edible flowers, seafood, pine nuts, avocado, figs (is there anything that screams sex more than figging?), who knows what will be on Sean Bedford's dirty little mind that evening, as he squats down naked over his bread mixer (careful, those beaters are grabby) and concocts something designed to entice?  Don't forget the chapter on massage oils.  Not for eating, silly.  For rubbing on your partner(s) nether regions, maybe while seated at a booth.

Here's a picture of the authors to help you keep it in your pants, Estes.  Autographed copies of their book will be available (autographed with their tongues dipped in flowing love juice, I trust).  Sadly, this dismissive review will only boost reservations, proving once again that Estes Park truly is high school, only without the athletes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Johanna writes

The Estes Park Economic Development Corporation (EPEDC) is patting itself on the back because "the award for 'Small Community of  the Year' was presented" to them by the Economic Development Council of Colorado (EDCC) "on behalf of a town that sets its sights on building a more resilient, inclusive, and vibrant community and economy after recovering from the devastating Colorado floods in 2013." How has the following economic development been beneficial to Estes Park? The Estes Park Event Center, completed in spring 2014, has not brought all the big events expected from outside of our community.  It is not profitable. The Estes Park Medical Center (i.e., Park Hospital District) did not have the money to build the EPMC/Anschutz Wellness Training Center within the two years specific in the "Contract for Sale of Lot 4" to John Cullen, owner of the Stanley Hotel (i.e., Grand Heritage Hotel Group, LLC).  Since the money was not raised, according
Read more

I'm always fascinated by the question of why Marie Cenac entered local politics

Image
Trustee Cenac is very anti-government involvement in constituents' problems, which is interesting, since she takes up one of the precious six seats on the town board, which is ostensibly a local government entity, organized to protect and serve the local taxpayers. If you go back through any noise ordinance discussion over the past six years, you will find, without fail, when she buzzes in to talk (and she never feels uncompelled to share this laissez faire opinion), that she constantly and consistently lectures the audience on where they choose to live determining whether they have any right to complain. This is known as victim blaming - If you are raped, it is because of the way you dress, if your business is vandalized by a customer bent on destruction, it is because your windows aren't strong enough to withstand getting hit with a large rock, and, God forbid, if you can't tolerate 14 straight hours of 100+ decibel noise, it is because your ears are pansies and you pic
Read more

Okay so I'll say it

Image
Jeez we have a bunch of milquetoast pretend journalists in town. The guy who was arrested locally a few clicks back, Keaton M.A. Krell, is the same guy who sexually assaulted a bunch of underage females in Linn County, Kansas, and, brazenly, got away with it. The airtight connection is through his wife or ex-wife or whoever star pupil and non-profit wunderkind Candace Krell is. But even then, c'mon, how many folks named Keaton M.A. Krell are running around diddling little girls? Get some cojones, POR (paper of record) and POR (podcast of record). You did the work (sort of) now publish the findings. Stop hiding behind the town as an excuse to avoid going to press - the PIO and TA aren't going to give you anything because they are scared of their own shadows. For the low IQ crowd and too easily unconvinced: Note how Candace Krell used to give her home address on LinkedIn as Estes Park, Colorado Here's another big whoopsie And this And this And this
Read more