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Norwegian island declares itself first "time-free" zone

Sommaroy ("Summer Island"), 200 miles north of the Arctic Circle and one hour (if hours mean anything to you) by car from Tromso, Norway, has asked the world to stop, because it wants to get off.  Other newspaper headlines indicate residents of Sommaroy, population 300, wants to "quit time" or "erase the concept of time", but in fact, they want to mfing obliterate time, and send any remaining pieces of the sun (or sundial) back to Zeus, cash on delivery.  Residents signed a petition requesting same, and submitted it to the town council.  Or will they in the future?  Who keeps track anymore?

The bridge from the mainland is covered in discarded timepieces (maybe - I've hardly got the travel budget to confirm) and Kjell Ove Hveding, spokesperson for the "release us from the constraints of time" movement, speaks for those who want to mow their lawns at 2:00 a.m., or eat when they are hungry, not when the clock (or their Open Table reservation) tells them it is dinnertime.

"Why put kids in a box?" he asks (maybe, or similar, it's Norwegian), removing his two children from birch crates constructed 10 minutes ago, or 10 years ago, who knows?  "Schools should start and end when it's convenient, and could quite possibly be interrupted by lawn mowing (apparently, Sommaroy has a lot of lawns that require frequent mowing)".  When did you begin reading this article?  Did you read it backwards from the end, if "The End" means anything any more?

Fishing boats will now depart the Sommaroy harbor when they want, or when the fish want, and tourists can check into their hotels whenever they arrive, and depart when they feel like it.  Popular country rock oldies (oops, neither old nor youngies) will have lyrics modified to omit any indication of the passage of time ("Desperado/Why don't you come to your senses?/You've been out riding fences/For an undefined and currently disavowed span of the earth's rotation".)

Whales will stop menstruating, and houses will now be called "beach balls", with cucumbers nailed to farm implements.  Kjell's wife (if he has one) will no longer be able to demand when Kjell might return from whatever it is Kjell does.  Wait, what?  Send a petition this way, when you get the, umm, inclination.

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