Kind of like Michael Cohen
Trustee Martchink mounted his high horse recently, claiming he was "damned if he do, damned if he don't" for attending a secret meeting organized by trustee Ken Zornes. Even though these meetings are not part of any town obligations or functions that I'm aware of, Trustee Martchink damn well attended this one (despite being unable to attend any of the three Trustee Talks held thus far), because he is a listener, and this was a listening session bringing together different generations and different points of view (meaning points of view from different points on the liberal spectrum) to discuss the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and overfishing of Portuguese coastal waters, for all I know (did someone take notes, and make these notes available?).
"I don't even know where he lives" Trustee Martchink asserted, meaning he has no idea where another trustee lives, and once the bottle gets passed around, probably can't even find his own residence, given a town map, a current address, and an assigned Uber driver. I would prefer a trustee that knew how to navigate around the town he represents, but no matter, Trustee Martchink was making this claim because he wanted to make it absolutely crystal he sure as hell did not attend any secret meeting organized by Trustee Zornes at Trustee Zornes' home. Yes, yes, he was in attendance at a secret meeting in another secret location (did anyone see the announcement in the paper or on the town's twitter account?), where only one other trustee was claimed to be in attendance (was attendance taken?), which would be just enough but not too much to avoid violating the state's Sunshine Laws, but dammit, this is about trust, and you have got to trust Trustee Martchink that this particular secret meeting was not all that secret, in fact, everyone in attendance received some type of RSVP, as would be true of a goat wedding or fraternal initiation involving strippers, or some other life-changing event that needed to be shielded from public view.
I have invited Trustee Martchink numerous times to non-secret meetings which are publicized in the newspaper, and Trustee Martchink has exercised his right to "not give a damn" by electing to not attend every single one of them, as has Trustee Zornes, as has Trustee Speedlin Bangs. Why, you ask? Well, because the secret meetings organized by Trustee Zornes are much more important, both as to the future of Estes Park and as regards the future of the current trustees standing in the community when they retire, because they are being moderated by Deacon Pickering, who is not an actual deacon in the Episcopal sense, but rather just plays one in Estes Park (why bother having to spend money on earning a title when you can maneuver the town into assigning you a fake one?), constantly, as head of the shadow operation that used to call itself ARD but now goes by the title Economic Development Corporation, a quasi-governmental Odd Fellows Hall which created itself like a phoenix rising from the ashes (meaning it just sprang from nothing, if by nothing you mean "strong-arm Mafia tactics") appropriating thousands of dollars of taxpayer funds annually (without taxpayer votes) to provide snacks at secret meetings where the course of Estes Park's future is plotted and planned. Don't want or need broadband? Tough, you're getting it, to the tune of $80 a month, whether you are rich or poor, or live in workforce housing provided by the EDC (just like an egg uses a chicken to provide more eggs, the EDC uses workforce housing to provide more money for the EDC). Don't have kids? Tough, you are paying to raise the town board's kids, because this was the campaign platform they ran on, and you elected them, remember? Don't tolerate racists? Tough, you are going to support one and build a shrine to same, idiot taxpayers, because good deeds, like making money off of being a racist by preventing minorities from staying in your hotel, transcend the stain of actually being a racist. It would be like honoring Eugene de Kock instead of Nelson Mandela, but I gather if Trustee Martchink lived in South Africa and Deacon Pickering demanded a shrine to de Kock, he would be damned if he did, damned if he didn't.
Three years on the town board, and Trustee Martchink has perfected the hangdog "help, I'm being abused" look, which allows him to continue doing anything he damn well pleases while dodging all those nasty, unwarranted slings and arrows. Remember, Trustee Martchink ran for the board, no one forced him, and if it is becoming such a struggle (every single town board meeting, we struggle along with him) to earn his $200 biweekly take-home pay for attending actual meetings while being pulled this way and that by having to attend or not attend secret meetings, maybe he should spend more time at home and less time having to defend himself against lacking a sense of direction.
Or maybe he goes for the orgies, to perfect secret penal/penile handshakes exchanged during Deacon Pickering's secret meetings. Who knows? Somehow, the hoi polloi is never invited.
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| The secret meetings have been moved outdoors to reduce claims of conspiracy |
"I don't even know where he lives" Trustee Martchink asserted, meaning he has no idea where another trustee lives, and once the bottle gets passed around, probably can't even find his own residence, given a town map, a current address, and an assigned Uber driver. I would prefer a trustee that knew how to navigate around the town he represents, but no matter, Trustee Martchink was making this claim because he wanted to make it absolutely crystal he sure as hell did not attend any secret meeting organized by Trustee Zornes at Trustee Zornes' home. Yes, yes, he was in attendance at a secret meeting in another secret location (did anyone see the announcement in the paper or on the town's twitter account?), where only one other trustee was claimed to be in attendance (was attendance taken?), which would be just enough but not too much to avoid violating the state's Sunshine Laws, but dammit, this is about trust, and you have got to trust Trustee Martchink that this particular secret meeting was not all that secret, in fact, everyone in attendance received some type of RSVP, as would be true of a goat wedding or fraternal initiation involving strippers, or some other life-changing event that needed to be shielded from public view.
I have invited Trustee Martchink numerous times to non-secret meetings which are publicized in the newspaper, and Trustee Martchink has exercised his right to "not give a damn" by electing to not attend every single one of them, as has Trustee Zornes, as has Trustee Speedlin Bangs. Why, you ask? Well, because the secret meetings organized by Trustee Zornes are much more important, both as to the future of Estes Park and as regards the future of the current trustees standing in the community when they retire, because they are being moderated by Deacon Pickering, who is not an actual deacon in the Episcopal sense, but rather just plays one in Estes Park (why bother having to spend money on earning a title when you can maneuver the town into assigning you a fake one?), constantly, as head of the shadow operation that used to call itself ARD but now goes by the title Economic Development Corporation, a quasi-governmental Odd Fellows Hall which created itself like a phoenix rising from the ashes (meaning it just sprang from nothing, if by nothing you mean "strong-arm Mafia tactics") appropriating thousands of dollars of taxpayer funds annually (without taxpayer votes) to provide snacks at secret meetings where the course of Estes Park's future is plotted and planned. Don't want or need broadband? Tough, you're getting it, to the tune of $80 a month, whether you are rich or poor, or live in workforce housing provided by the EDC (just like an egg uses a chicken to provide more eggs, the EDC uses workforce housing to provide more money for the EDC). Don't have kids? Tough, you are paying to raise the town board's kids, because this was the campaign platform they ran on, and you elected them, remember? Don't tolerate racists? Tough, you are going to support one and build a shrine to same, idiot taxpayers, because good deeds, like making money off of being a racist by preventing minorities from staying in your hotel, transcend the stain of actually being a racist. It would be like honoring Eugene de Kock instead of Nelson Mandela, but I gather if Trustee Martchink lived in South Africa and Deacon Pickering demanded a shrine to de Kock, he would be damned if he did, damned if he didn't.
Three years on the town board, and Trustee Martchink has perfected the hangdog "help, I'm being abused" look, which allows him to continue doing anything he damn well pleases while dodging all those nasty, unwarranted slings and arrows. Remember, Trustee Martchink ran for the board, no one forced him, and if it is becoming such a struggle (every single town board meeting, we struggle along with him) to earn his $200 biweekly take-home pay for attending actual meetings while being pulled this way and that by having to attend or not attend secret meetings, maybe he should spend more time at home and less time having to defend himself against lacking a sense of direction.
Or maybe he goes for the orgies, to perfect secret penal/penile handshakes exchanged during Deacon Pickering's secret meetings. Who knows? Somehow, the hoi polloi is never invited.
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