You're saying that W.T. Parke, identified as "Mr. Parke" at the top of this photograph, liked to take pictures of little girls? Be still my beating heart. William T., the 60-year-old bachelor accused in 1917 of molesting a 14-year-old adolescent, had an unhealthy attraction to little girls?
What should we do about this? Should we distance ourself from him, and from this abhorrent activity? Naah, how about we collectively as a town create a statue in his honor, give him a pika, a fetish object for children of all ages to run around looking for. Maybe the little boys could look up the little girls' dresses for their pika, like John Simms, the other man accused of molesting this girl, confessed to, and was sent away to the penitentiary.
When I think of all that our previous town administrator accomplished, I can't help but glow with pride at how, during the height of the "Me Too" movement, he had the balls to honor an accused child molester with his own special pika. Just like the guy who stole the air conditioning unit from the Akron (Ohio) Alliance Fellowship Church back in August, "it's hot where you're going".
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