Random guy versus random guy

Random guy #1: You need to put up a slide that lists all the items for approval on the consent agenda.
Town board: Brilliant idea. Despite the fact that only three people attend the board meetings in person, and perhaps, if we're lucky, another 8-10 occasionally watch parts of it online, and these items are in such small type nobody in the audience or watching online can read anything on the slide, and no one besides you, random guy, cares about this in any way, since staff has already determined these approvals are a mere formality, we will implement your suggestion immediately and without pushback, and make it a permanent feature of every meeting henceforth into the next century and beyond. Random guy #2: Could you release the sales tax figures to the public on the day you receive them? Town board: Are you out of your effing mind? No effing way. This is the hill we will die on. You will never, ever see that number until we are good and ready. What are you, a communist? A traitor? We would rather fight against this nonsense for 17 straight hours while standing on burning coals than yield one inch to this indecent, incredibly offensive suggestion. How dare you. Our spouses also think you are worthy of having trash and wastewater dumped on your head, and we never talk and live in completely different countries. Do you understand how the entire fabric of the universe would collapse in on itself, how we would be sucked into black hole after black hole, if this number was released one hour earlier than when we arbitrarily decide to release it, days and often weeks after we receive and share it with those who provide favors and have inside access to the internal workings of our Stanley/Cullen-run community? Etc. etc. ad infinitum until entropy destroys the final molecule of ATP...

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