BreakingBreaking: Washington Redskins to drop name

From now on, they will be known as the Washington Blackskins.
Reached for comment, Estes Park's original historian laureate, Reginald Buckminster Wheaty, expressed no shock or disbelief.  "Hyah, hyah, let us be raisonable [affected English accent translated hereafter for clarity].  This is the 1960s.  [Editorial clarification:  It is not.  The man is stuck in the past.]  Everyone's doing it.  Everyone across the state is doing it.  We are no different from anyone else in our distrust of those of different hue.  So naturally, this is the correct stance to take.  Let's continue calling a spade a spade, and, heavens, let's continue calling a delicious Monte Cristo finger sandwich the definition of paradise.  More tea, please, Hattie.  Sorry you can't live in this neighborhood.  Hell, my dog is named "Blackie" because he is so dark and negroid-like, steals food from the table and had a bunch of babies we have to pick up the tab for.  Hyah, hyah.  We should all aspire to live like those of our kind in gated communities, without apology or introspection.  Look for my take in the next Town Bugle, where my expedient and financially-motived views are supported entirely by you, the taxpayers, and so by definition reflect your views.  If you have different views, either change them or move.  That is the cornerstone of democracy, meaning democracy of the white folks supper club.  Mmm, this sweet tea is delicious, Hattie.  Do you know anything about birthing puppies?"

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