Estes Park's disaffected opposition

I am running, and will continue to run for as long as I draw breath, as the lone representative of Estes Park's disaffected opposition.  I just received an email today that EPIC is planning to relocate to Stanley Park.  This is great news, in that, after it fails in 3 years, the building can be used to house the Senior Center or a really spectacular day care facility, said no one ever.  Because F.O. Stanley donated the 50+ acres to be used solely as a park, and then, in his lone oversight, forgot to live forever, members of the town board are currently carving up Stanley Park for their own pet projects, because, well, who can stop them?

Welcome to Norrisville

I trust you can remember, those of you with memory, six years ago when I warned folks in town about Ron Norris and his desire to take everything away from Estes Park that actually made it Estes Park.  When Herr Norris dismantles Heir Stanley at the conclusion of an eight years fraught with finger wagging and really, really boring pontification, there will no longer be a Stanley Park, and Estes Park residents will wake up, grab a bite of polluted air, and wonder what the hell happened on their commute to Denver, where traffic will be more bearable than driving around the remnants of Estes Park.  For those tourists bereft of imagination, you can't have a wilderness unless you juxtapose a violent non-wilderness, and this is what Herr Norris and the EC-DC will accomplish without asking for anyone's vote.

Note the resemblance?

You thought you lived in a free country?  Estes Park is currently a dictatorship, run by three aging impotent Adam Sutler acolytes who dream every night of implementing martial law without having to, through control of all local boards, nonprofits and media outlets.  If they can't control them, they just start their own, and grind the opposition into dust.  Don't like MedX?  Build a "community center" that excludes half the community, and prices the other half into wage slavery.  Don't like downtown businesses run by perceived opponents?  Transfer someone into the post office to lose all their packages.  Nick Molle is clearly their unwitting pawn, as is Cowboy Brad and Thomas Gootz.  You just don't know who is sleeping next to pods.  But once they are invited to join the museum board, despite knowing nothing about museums or local history, you kind of have an idea, index finger to nose (or in nose).

When did Estes Park stop being cool?  When these aging technocrats, purged from the Communist party for being too rigid, moved to town.  They hate young people.  Face it.  The only way to defeat them is to force them to listen to rap music, played loudly and constantly over vintage Epicure M-100 speakers.  They hate minorities.  They make fun of vegans.  They pee on crucifixes, in fact, they have crucifixes molded from the blue/bleach toilet bowl cleaner pellets to accomplish three jobs at once (voiding the toxic mercury they ingest because they believe the Panamanian myth that quicksilver makes one impervious to bullets, masking the devil sulfur smell, and disavowing Christ).

I could go on, but I'm laughing too hard right now to type effectively.