epgarbage

back in March for pointing out COVID was much, much worse than influenza, and who quoted a completely inflated statistic of Italy having 36,000 deaths from influenza last year while kicking me off - Here's a sobering piece of news: Italy is on track to lose 72,000 citizens from SARS-CoV-2 infection by the end of the year.  That's double the made-up number of influenza deaths you provided, in less than a full year of fake influenza statistics you provided.   The number above is a real number.  Those are real deaths of real human beings.  The population of Italy is 60 million.  This represents well over 0.1% of their entire population.  1 out of every 1000 Italians who began 2020 alive and well are now dead from one cause.  If you went to a concert with 14,000 people in the stands, that would be 14 people who didn't emerge alive after the concert.  This is slightly less than the total number of people killed by the suicide bomber at the Ariana Grande concert in 2017.  Did we

From Yahoo News: Ass or pass - Nobody rides for free

The obvious health benefits of colloidal silver.  If you want to become a Smurf. Dear EPGarbage:  I have done everything the CDC recommended during this outbreak, and paid little attention to the nonsense emanating from the big white house, choosing instead to use their COVID experiences (somebody on the White House staff lost a foot from circulation problems caused by the infection, yet this was kept quiet) as an example.  I have not interacted with the health care system once, not locally or county-wise, since the start of the outbreak.  I have not been tested because I do not need to be tested - I know how to live and garb up when going out and behave if I want to avoid contracting the disease.  There is no "ambiguity" about wearing masks, there never was - There is just people who get COVID making excuses (those that have no earthly reason or excuse for catching it) because they are children intellect-wise or maturity-wise and can't accept responsibility for bad decis

Transcript of the most bald-faced lies from the MacGregor (s)creed:  If I don't liquidate we will loose (sic, lose, or maybe they'll just unmoor all the buildings from their foundations) everything anyways and then also be bankrupt us.  (sic, impossible to decipher - It's clear she's past the point of being able to afford grammar check)  I just can not allow what happened to my mom once before in Estes to happen again (what, pray tell, is that?  Burn down a shoddily constructed 20-year-old barn from corner cutting and code violations and neglect?).  I can't allow for taxes and payment to big banks cause us to lose anything we have left.  (Again, how does the size of the bank determine which ones are evil?  And should people not have to pay taxes once they've acquired over $5 million in land?  And where is this money for taxes being kept?  In a piggy bank?  Help me follow the logic:  Big banks bad, big private land owners good?) Lest you think the folks in Ethiop

120 more deaths reported in Colorado today from that piffly overblown oronasal virus infection thingy.  How many more of us are you willing to sacrifice to prove this whole COVID thing is "no big deal" and "media hype"?  Were you shitting bricks after you swabbed infected sputum down your daughters' throats, or did you already know the outcome of what happens when a silly bat virus bumps up against the "master race"?  Did you know that, per capita minorities in the U.S. are dying of infection (or something overblown) in numbers greater than their representation in the overall population?  Do you care, or are minorities just an inconvenience?  Aren't you so angry that everyone bought into that whole "the east side of Rocky Mountain National Park is on fire" scam in October and left town when they could have been purchasing more sticky octopus wall walkers to give meaning to their meaningless lives?  Say, maybe coronaviruses could be mocked

As of Tuesday, December 8 - This was Colorado Gives Day, and Colorado gave up 14 more bodies to state morgues Dear Donna - I see you doubled down this morning and drug your whole family into the coronavirus tent.  Just because you had no symptoms, just because your children had no symptoms, does not mean others will have no symptoms, and absolutely does not mean long-term your children will not experience sequelae years later (think of shingles, or post-polio syndrome).  One of the symptoms of contracting coronavirus is, unfortunately, an inability to breathe, leading to death.  Above are the latest numbers, which I don't think are overhyped, since this comes from worldometers.org, which doesn't have a media arm.    Why don't you spend some time at the bedside of someone on a ventilator before you start advising people how they should live their lives?  You're immune, now, right? And you are correct, more people will recover from COVID-19 than will die from COVID-19.  T

COVID survivor and newly-minted COVID expert (remember all those recovered addicts who told you not to drink alcohol at school assemblies?) Donna Carlson, COVID+ Estes Park Chamber of Commerce president and survivor, has now self-appointed herself Estes Park's public health expert, wresting the role from Debbie "Don't Stay At" Holmes, who may not be willingly conceding, it's just she's gone back to writing harmlessly recycled "turkey makes you sleepy, no, Thanksgiving makes you sleepy" columns. Donna has now decided restaurants don't give you COVID, in fact, restaurants are protective, and prevent you from getting COVID.  She contracted COVID from drinking wine with a friend (that scene setter by itself pregnant with possibilities), in her home, so, apparently, you get it from your house.  Or from Donna Carlson's house.  If only restaurants were open, so that you could get out of your infectious house and sit and drink wine with a friend with

Debbie is to the far, far, right.  Get it?  Like hate group right.  Like fascist right. It's clear, for an Estes Park Trail-Gazette self-penned editorial that uses "ravished" (meaning "raped") where "ravaged" (meaning "destroyed") is more appropriate, thus omitting the suggested sexual connotations (which are nonexistent, unless you are so jaded as to think the infecting virus is somehow engaged in oral sex) attached to an RNA virus infecting a human being, that no one at HQ is minding the store when it comes to fact-checking or proofreading submitted columns.  Examples #1 through #12 are Debbie "Does" Holmes, the recently mentioned and oft-challenged (?mentally challenged?) misunderstander of what is really important in life (meaning not dying, and that is really important for those who want to continue living), who ended her column with a profound (?profoundly dumb?) question last week (at least she thought it was profound, becaus

It was hardly our intention with this post to slip in some Freudian imagery, but if those Belgian bastards find this so amusing...  Meanwhile, over in Swansea, magic mushrooms somehow sprang up, and were lopped off... Which just goes to show you - When in Molokai, keep an eye out for swollen rocks. And when it comes to kissing golf trophies, try to stay away from the Longs Drugs Challenge. Seriously.

And why does the Trail-Gazette keep providing her with rope, or a column with which to hang her Nazi master race flag out to dry?  Does she have a strong desire to kill off everyone not named Debbie Holmes with her total absorption in herself?   When we lose 350,000 people to COVID, in other words, the entire population of Larimer County, will this finally cause her to exercise some introspection?  Or will Mike Romero finally recognize her "Nobody dies from COVID, at least nobody important?" message, which has appeared now THREE SEPARATE TIMES in three different columns running in three different months, as the raving of a vapid, pathetic, recriminatory beauty school dropout who has no knowledge of healthcare, infectious diseases, or compassion for anyone besides those sprung from the womb of Debbie Holmes' mother, living or dead.  Enough, Trail.  Next she'll be saying COVID just kills the unworthy Juden and fags.  Enough diarrhea leakage from the anal o"pen/pin&

To the Larimer County Commissioners:  At the regularly scheduled town board meeting this evening in Estes Park, the trustees were "encouraged" by the mayor to send a message to the Larimer County commissioners, by voting unanimously to support Visit Estes Park's 2021 operating plan.  Woefully low-bar challenge accepted.  In the next few days, expect a cheerleader-type letter signed by all board members as well, as dangled promised dissenting opinions from one or more county commissioners was seen as misguided and terribly unfair, practically eliciting a Bronx cheer (is that an emoji, like "thumbs up"?) as a precursory rejoinder.  Whipping up a forced "we all think alike" enthusiasm among the board was, in my opinion, probably not necessary, as  two of the board members sit on the VEP board, with allegiance already baked in.  Two of the newer board members haven't been involved in local politics long enough to know VEP's sordid history, or confi

Not "Open for Business".  The new motto for the Chamber of Commerce should be "Out of Control".  There are well over 100 COVID cases now in Estes Park.  Saturday was the day of catching up, and 20 more cases were added for November 5 and November 6 alone.  That is more cases than the entire months of June and July.  In two days.  Where is our mayor?  Where are our 'rust-eez?  Where is our valiant hospital?  Wolfing down valium?  Who will broadcast the news that Estes Park is very much in the midst of an exploding, life-altering outbreak?  Who indeed?  Tune in to AM 1470 radio, where, once again, you can chase pikas to your heart's content.  Maybe we can start having a scavenger hunt for live bodies.    

Estes Park now has 7 deaths from (ha-ha) 100 cases.  Either the testing sites need to do a better job of collecting proper samples and analyzing them, or, since the local entities involved in both of these activities will claim they are doing a perfect job of collecting samples and analyzing them, we have one of the highest case-fatality rates in the nation.  It's your choice, Estes Park Health and Salud and Larimer County Health Department.  Instead of half-assing this, it's now time to call in the big boys and ask for help.  We don't want to beat Iran and North Korea for either (A) deaths per case count or (B) hiding things. Welcome to Estes Park, home of the the "We're Always Open" sign, courtesy of the Chamber of Commerce, where the waters are always Giardia free and the air is only going to kill 1 out of every 10 visitors.  But hey, our fire department keeps everyone safe from everything.  Alcohol poisoning might be a better way to go, as espoused by half

Colo and Coro are synonymous in Japan, so it was no wonder the Centennial State's latest effort was destined to climb the charts.  Up two notches on the big board from last week (see below), it's "Level 2" by the Pueblo County Inmates.   The lyrics are catchy, all about keepin' on living the way you're living, not changin' a thing, especially behavior,  party on, soon we'll reach Level 3, etc., etc.  It has some different versions statewide, but at least Tom "Speedy" Gunwales (family name pronounced with three syllables, like George Wallace) and the boys down at county health are doing some major ass-covering harmonies right now. Colorado had been comfortable at position 30 on the national charts for months, but, busy as a beaver, it dreamed of cracking the top 25, and will very soon surpass neighboring Utah, which, make fun of it all you want ("Utah - Where every family outbreak kills hundreds"), has 1/4 the mortality of Rocky Big

Jonathan D. Crossley, 25-year-old white male, wears glasses, driver's license photo, last known address the apartments at 4113 Snow Ridge Circle in Fort Collins.  If you need to reach him, here's his (heyIjustmetyou,andthisiscrazy) number:  (970) 204-0839 Car last seen abandoned at Lory State Park.  Actually, you may need to call (970) 416-1985. That's the sheriff's office.  He should have been processed by now. Turns out John stabbed someone last night who could identify him (translation:  John stabbed his girlfriend, probably now ex-girlfriend).  Ex-girlfriend not because she's no longer with us, but because stabbing is a real roadblock to continuing any relationsh-well, savvy, you get the idea.  John's NowEx-girlfriend lived on Tigercat Way.  Well, still lives there, and will return there when she checks out of Poudre Valley AMA, but was residing there last night, all stabby following John's arrival, is what I mean.  Never date anyone who lives on a stree

Well, everything posted therein is technically true, except AM 1470, which we taxpayers are supporting financially for unclear reasons, was nowhere to be found during the evacuation of 22 October 2020.  White noise during a red hot run.  (In Europe, 22 October 2020 would be recorded as 22/10/2020, which is a convenient way to remember the great evacuation standstill of Estes Park in the twenty-first century, when we had no emergency radio station and no cars were moving on the roads out of Estes Park, kind of a stop-motion comedy with the tragedy part being that no one learned anything from the failed exercise - no policies will change, and everyone upon return immediately reverted to sheeplike complaints about the post office.)  We didn't even get to listen to the cycled warnings (and ads - TIS is never supposed to have ads, but the town uses taxpayer money to support ads benefitting the Art Center) about elk attacks or the danger of throwing pine cones at tourists Meanwhile, anot

Published October 25, 2020   •   Updated on  October 25, 2020  at  7:24 pm     While we were all distracted by the shiny object referred to as the Cameron Peak fire, old East Troublesome snuck in through the back door, jumped the protective moat and everything.  Meanwhile, while we were all distracted by evacuations, those Covid-19 bowel evacuations we were all so proud to announce were being monitored have gone begging (what was the point of monitoring sewer water if we weren’t going to do anything with the data?  Or warn the public about when the trend line started standing upright?)  Seems like Uncle CoV II just slipped into Estes through the back, back door, and we are going to start feeling some major butt pain up in here, coupled with air hunger.  We’ve gone from a case a week to a case a day, and even Harmony will tell you that signifies major trouble for our rehab hospital capacity two weeks hence.  Maybe we should just keep everyone down in the valley, the valley so low, Tom D

Jeffrey Toobin is probably, or was probably, the most gifted legal mind on CNN.  That isn't saying much, because the competition was, what?, Alan Dershowitz?, but Jeffrey definitely thought a lot of himself, and, apparently, finally got caught worshipping at his own altar.   The "I didn't know the gun was loaded" defense has rarely elicited anything but groans, so why did he even bother making excuses about thinking his Zoom was on "mute", as if the fapping, grunting noises contributed in any way to his demise .  Those "Oh-Ohs" could always be brushed off as faked (Harry Met Handy), so I'm guessing there are some visuals, which we will all be exposed to shortly. I'm also guessing most males reading this (save Anthony Weiner) will not be willing to grant the "there, but for the grace of God, go I" sympathy nod.  You get caught waxing the dolphin off camera, never with film rolling, unless it is intentional, a cry for help, or so in

  Debbie Gibson is Estes Park’s version of Jimmy “Two Fingers” Gambino.  Estes Park should start advertising this VEP CEO job as "work for one year, get paid for three".  What a joke, sending the condolence letter to the county commissioners at 1:30 a.m. on Sunday morning.  Not that it was going to get any coverage anyway.  Why do you think Debbie and Scott act with zero concern over how this looks to the public or the press?  There is no public or press to be concerned with.   Estes Park is both the most morally fetid and the least mentally checked-in community in the Rockies.  We could have a serial rapist running through town molesting every fourth resident, and the outrage rally would be the same threadbare seven people soliciting horn honks on the corner of Elkhorn and Virginia Drive.  Why get worked up about another $500K flushed down the toilet?  Why not instead run and dust the turds off your resume?  VEP is hiring, and there is plenty of slop in that honeypot to go r

As you settle in to your temporary quarters after mandatory evacuation, or prepare for mandatory evacuation, be sure to set aside some time for yourself.  Perhaps the flames are licking at your tires, maybe you are wondering whether you have enough gas in your tank, literally, to make it to Lyons, but take a page from our mayor's book of wonder, and pull over and do something while idling that you enjoy, maybe scuba diving in a kelp forest, maybe stamp collecting, maybe avoiding Mayor's Chats with impunity while pretending to serve the common man.   As you read this, with SARS-CoV-2 cases rising locally and flames leapfrogging pine-to-pine over yonder hill, our mayor is in Wyoming, fishing and "recharging", not unobtrusively, and not as a western states government conference attendee, perhaps a Colorado River water rights compact representative or PRPA alternative fuel congress committee member, mixing serious business on forest management or vaccine distribution with

Red alert:  This afternoon, October 8, 2020, at 21:41 p.m. GMT, the Larimer County risk "needle" for coronavirus edged into the "high" category.  Whether or not this is an actual emergency ("this is a test, this is only a test, of the Emergency Red Needle System") remains to be seen, meaning don't tune into local AM 1470, now or ever, because that frequency is only used to ad nauseam promote Elk Fest and dialing before your dig.   Did Wendy Koenig-Schuett know she was going to be elected mayor during a pandemic?  She claims "no", but all signs on the Magic 8 Ball point to YES, as the outbreak hit our shores in February 2020, and she was elected in April 2020.  Unless she was in a coma, or doesn't understand the nature of transmission.  Whether or not she is capable of governing during a pandemic is another question.  Was a former railroad construction worker the best qualified to finish the job on the Panama Canal?  No, that required an A

Estes Park Citzens for Responsive Government - Five minute, 20-question survey   [For questions Q1 through Q6 and question Q10, circle one of the two choices provided] Example: Are you happy?  Yes or No [one of these two words will be circled, with an arrow and the word "sample" pointing to the question]   Q1.  Do you live or own property within the Estes Park town limits?  Yes or No   Q2.  Are you registered to vote in the state of Colorado?  Yes or No   Q3.  At present, are you willing or unwilling to sign a petition recalling current Estes Park mayor Wendy Koenig, circulation beginning no earlier than November 2020?  Willing or Unwilling   Q4.  At present, are you willing or unwilling to sign a petition recalling current Estes Park mayor pro-tem Patrick Martchink, circulation beginning no earlier than November 2020?  Willing or Unwilling   Q5.  At present, are you willing or unwilling to sign a petition recalling current Estes Park trustee Carlie Bangs, Marie Cenac, Barbar

The six-month "grace period" for newly-elected town board members is rapidly approaching, and recall petitions for the mayor and five of the six trustees can be placed in circulation as early as late October, provided language is approved. A recently-formed local committee, Citizens for Responsive Government, has created a questionnaire to gauge public sentiment for recalling any or all of the elected officials once it becomes possible to do so.  The form can be filled out anonymously, but contact information in the form of a valid email address or working telephone number is required.  Space is also provided on the form for opinions related to introducing a local ordinance making it mandatory for a criminal indictment or conviction prior to a recall, with a financial "general fund offset" to restore general fund depletion due to administrative expense, similar to a "carbon offset", invoiced to those organizing what impartial outside observers would interp

About six months ago, when the "For Sale" sign went back up at 865 Moraine (the home of the former Soda Splash and the former Chicken Fried Latte/Antonio's Frozen Pizza Slice, both of which apparently opened so they could close - see the handbook on tax write-offs, or was this just poor management?), I posted something in a Facebook group asking whether things were perhaps not as cotton candy as first portrayed, when whoever (I have my theories) put up the sign promising "Donuts!/Coming Summer 2020".  I was quickly attacked, ridiculed, and shortly thereafter kicked out of that group, for merely raising the possibility that whoever (I have my theories) wasn't being entirely honest about how successful and well thought out the dream of building a donut shop across from a donut shop was, and how reality might interfere with narcoleptic, hashish-catalyzed dreams.  You can't have your unicorn fantasy dashed by some "truther" raised on reality, espec

From now on, they will be known as the Washington Blackskins. Reached for comment, Estes Park's original historian laureate, Reginald Buckminster Wheaty, expressed no shock or disbelief.  "Hyah, hyah, let us be raisonable [affected English accent translated hereafter for clarity].  This is the 1960s.  [Editorial clarification:  It is not.  The man is stuck in the past.]  Everyone's doing it.  Everyone across the state is doing it.  We are no different from anyone else in our distrust of those of different hue.  So naturally, this is the correct stance to take.  Let's continue calling a spade a spade, and, heavens, let's continue calling a delicious Monte Cristo finger sandwich the definition of paradise.  More tea, please, Hattie.  Sorry you can't live in this neighborhood.  Hell, my dog is named "Blackie" because he is so dark and negroid-like, steals food from the table and had a bunch of babies we have to pick up the tab for.  Hyah, hyah.  We sh

Hey everyone.  There's a new sheriff in town.  And he hates rednecks.  And he really, really hates privileged white people who keep voting themselves new privileged white people statues for later, wiser generations to topple. Trustee MacAlpine: Although there is little we agree upon politically, I trust you, as a former reference librarian at a major university, recognize the importance of accurate historic information, including, at a basic level, the correct spelling of first and last names. You would probably not appreciate being remembered 50 years down the line as Estes Park trustee "Barbara MacAlpone" [sic]. Recently, an ad hoc committee in town has been formed to honor the contribution of women to Estes Park's history, a proposal the board favored unanimously, and which I champion wholeheartedly.  Indeed, I was one of the few people arguing forcefully against the permanent removal of the memorial blue spruce trees (if they were diseased,