epgarbage

This man, former student manager for the Michigan Wolverines, can't miss.  All he does it hit three-pointers.  Why they leave scholarship players in the game to go 0-18 when they have a guy on the bench who is perfect from beyond the arc this season is beyond me.

This breaking news is hot off the presses, magma-level hot!!  DO NOT THINK FOR A SECOND THIS IS CLICK BAIT.  WE ARE THE FIRST TO REPORT.  LONDON PLEASE COPY. As of March 28, 2019 at 10:00 a.m. mountain time, the only accessible eprecall-2019.com site is the cached site. https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:90A3lyvsetEJ:https://www.eprecall-2019.com/+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us EPRECALL-2019 is dead or hacked Warning - Click on the link below at your own risk, and report back findings.  Today's scheduled gathering outside the post office could be in peril!!! http://www.eprecall-2019.com Say it ain't so, EPRECALL-2019 Update at 4:00 p.m. mountain time:  Whew!   Crisis averted.  The recall site must have just been undergoing routine maintenance, and the team has announced they will now be outside the post office 24 hours a day until the deadline.

Are you ready to have your mind blown?  The Estes Park Trail-Gazette photographer just happened to be standing outside the clerk's office at the very instant the petition circulators showed up to drop their petition off The following partial post, from someone identifying himself/herself as "77COD" is the work of a genius.  You could never sit down and willfully craft something so brilliant, no matter how many monkeys you had helping you on an infinite number of typewriters.  The author has a future in writing, or wiring, or involuntary commitment, or something.  Look at this masterpiece of a sentence: This is a family welcome community and to allow drugs to be blatantly sold is unconscious able.  Go to the eptrail website to see the word explosion in its entirety (as if an attempt were made to reassemble "Hamlet" from the remnants of dictionary pages wrapped around an explosive detonated in a dumpster), but just ponder that perfectly encapsulated opi...

Aerial view of abandoned Estes Park, circa 2039 Gather around, children, and listen to the true story of a Colorado town that lost itself in novelties.  2020 was the first year they went in, "they" being traffic roundabouts, in the mountain community of Estes Park.  No other town of similar size had a roundabout prior to that, but Estes Park was envious of its larger neighbors, and had a volunteer organization known as TAB, as outmoded and unpopular as the diet drink of the same name, reintroduced in the same century, which craved justification for the long hours it put in studying parking tickets, and deciphering exactly what they meant and how to implement them using a phased-in approach over the ensuing 200 years. I was there that night, when the town board yielded to TAB pressure and placed Estes Park's first ever roundabout at the east entrance to town.  There was no stoplight at this location, it wasn't even a true four-way intersection, but TAB members gl...

Relax - I've posted photos of other classes of folks smoking fat J's below In contrast to the failing mayoral/mayoral pro-tem recall, here is how you run a successful petition drive: Submit more than the required number of signatures well before the deadline.  Finally, Frank has something he can get excited about.  Start cranking out the Page 2 advertorials on the democratic process, Franky Lanky Loco Coco Puff. T he Town Clerk's office received the initiated ordinance for marijuana today.  The petitioners submitted 12 petition sectoins [sic, suggest sections] containing 255 signatures.  Per state statute, the Town Clerk has 30 days from today to find the petition sufficient or insufficient.  The petitioners were notified on February 15, 2019 that the petition form was approved and would require 236 signatures. Here are images of different ethnicities hitting the hay so you don't get all touchy and accuse me of stereotyping.

The set up By 12:40 p.m. Monday, recall petition signing event #8 was ready, 20 minutes early.  Technically, it was located outside Cafe de Pho Thai more than on the "post office sidewalk", but no one headed in to pick up their mail was likely to miss it.  It was breezy but certainly not unpleasant, given what late March usually portends in Estes Park. The pitch By 1:10 p.m., Kevin had obtained two signatures, from a man and a woman, seemingly unrelated.  No identification was checked, but hey, who's going to lie in Estes Park, or not know where they live as regards the town limits?  Just get the ink and let God sort it out.   Using the Lancaster Extrapolation System, two signatures in ten minutes equates to 12 signatures per hour, meaning 36 for the three-hour event, meaning these complete d sheets should have been turned in already , and a recall election scheduled.   However, some of us in town aren't that easily led around by a n...

The "Studio" website is also a MySite creation, similar to the recall skeleton.  Is Arapaho Meadows in the town limits?  [Update:  Answer from a reliable reader - "Yes"]  Is 770 an Estes Park area code, or an Atlanta, Georgia area code?  [Update: Yeah, that was a rhetorical question.  I'm fully aware 770 is not a code anywhere close to our area.]

Sorry to interrupt your basketball binge watching, but Bob Mueller will speak through Bill Barr in 30 minutes regarding who gets to yell "told you so" louder over the next 20 months. Update at 1:34 p.m. mountain time:  CNN panel has expended to 74 pundits and insiders Update at 1:42 p.m. mountain time: Both sides are stretching out their vocal cords, but it appears from this read and this tweet, Trump supporters will feel justified in shouting a bit longer and louder. And here is the final word at 2:46 p.m. mountain time, would could just as easily have been written in ALL CAPS:

If these prices are correct, the eprecall team has expended $12 plus domain registration fees (no ads) to keep people up to date on where they stand (outside, in the cold) on signatures.  It would be more impressive if their website was a bit splashier, or updated a bit more often, but sometimes grassroots efforts come from people who smoke a lot of grass, and don't have time to submit new copy to a webmaster when they are stockpiling Doritos. These are now the eighth and ninth announced signing dates, and if they average 10 signatures each appearance, they will be up to 90 by the end of the month. Let's accost as many people as we can, maybe give volunteers a bell to ring I'm not claiming time is running out, because organizers are tight lipped as to how far they are along.  The bar is quite low in a community whose deplorables basket overfloweth, and there is always a boost associated with the town administrator...

Oh, and one more thing - Eventually, Larry will be making these false claims to an empty hospital.

This may explain why eprecall-2019 and epcats.org haven't updated their websites in weeks.

Back when I was following the glass float collecting world, there was a gentleman from Iowa named Geno who scavenged flea markets and antique shops looking for small glass floats (used to keep fishing nets buoyant).  He wanted to corner the market on them, not realizing that, in the past, the Japanese fishing industry turned out glass floats like Hershey turns out Twizzlers.  Every few days, he would post another breathless find (he called them "fish balls") to the group, crowing about how he had taken another dealer to the tune of $5 to $10 for a priceless treasure. For those of you hopelessly lost, here is a picture of glass floats of the round, smaller variety, with a golf ball in the lower right for size comparison. The only truly valuable glass floats are intact (unbroken) ones of much larger diameter (which are rarer, even if the same quantities of each were made originally, because their size makes them less likely to survive), and those of a rolling pin shape, ge...

I know where I'm eating from now on. Meanwhile, if you aren't 12 years old, here are your less than satisfactory options.  Does any Estes Park restaurant aspire to be better than fair?

Past projects are no guarantee of future results There is no real reason for public input now that East Avenue Developers met with Trustee Zornes and the Economic Development Corporation.  These two entities make all decisions for the taxpaying citizens, then shamble off to the next 68-acre historic property to determine its future. I get that East Avenue finances construction of smaller boutique-style hotels in Texas and Utah, but how does that fit with the Elkhorn Lodge property?  Hilton is more into pre-fab boxes than decaying shrines, so what is likely to stay, and what is slated to go, in the rush to provide wireless to all the overnight businessmen? Jimbo got the Elkhorn placed on Colorado's endangered list a few years back, and I kind of thought the purpose of that list was to attract saviors, not Hiltons.  But what do I know?  I'm just reading all the apologies written into the announcement, wondering whether we should just go ahead and cede the Stan...

Here's a Colorado National Park where you don't have to say "Hi" on the trail every 10 seconds I wonder how much money they are getting for a Loop?  Can you buy Girl Scout cookies there? Rocky Mountain packs in this many folks in one July weekend Finally, a list Estes Park didn't make.  Oh wait, not overrunning national treasures is a good thing?  Not wasting $2 million advertising a park that everyone is coming to anyway is a good thing? My bad, Chad.

The Estes Park Trail Gazette, from objective criteria or anecdotal evidence, is having problems.  The classic indication of a newspaper in trouble is a delay in getting their paper out on schedule.  Decrease in size/format is another worry (remember how the Rocky Mountain News kept reformatting and shrinking, even eventually cohabiting with the Post, until if finally disappeared?), but hitting doorsteps with Shinkansen-like regularity is paramount in quelling investor or reader or subscriber nervousness.  I get it, Wednesday was a major blizzard that shut down roads statewide (with travel treacherous but possible locally), but it wasn't like the blizzard wasn't predicted in advance (the announcement that the school was closing because of weather was provided Tuesday night), and, more to the point, it wasn't like anyone who could assemble a paper was in the Trail office Wednesday afternoon, because they weren't. When I visited a Trail office devoid of people (except...

Ambulances in Christchurch are chartreuse, with sirens that emit a keening up and down electronic wail foreign to non-European ears.  Over the coming weeks, for some, the awful caterwaul of March 15 will meld into daily traffic.  Church and temple bells will toll, breaking news alerts will subside, and the adhan will one again call the faithful to pray.  It will be normal, except it won't be anything like normal.  The norm will be a resetting of the baseline, an increased circulating level of stress hormone. It is particularly evil to attack people at their most vulnerable.  At a outdoor concert, young and old enjoying themselves, enjoying life, that through-the-looking-glass target practice buried the needle into awful as far as I thought it could go, but on their knees, in a house of worship, praying for guidance, forgiving trespasses, while streaming it online LIKE A FUCKING VIDEO GAME, achieved a whole new decibel of madness. New Zealand was supposed t...

Hikers who refuse to provide a planned advance itinerary during times of decreased park use or increased adverse weather conditions and insist on traveling without a companion, are officially banned from national park entry.  The expense of searching for missing/injured hikers is too great to justify the extremely low odds of finding them alive 24-48 hours beyond a reasonable return time. If the government can shut down an particular model of transportation based on the inexplicable loss of 189 + 157 individuals in a 12-month span, it sure as hell should do the same when, on average, 160 individuals routinely go missing in U.S. national parks year after year after year.

In Estes Park, $500,000 is the new $20.  You know how you used to give your kid a $20 allowance for movies or a candy bar after school.  Now we give our kids $500,000.  We give Anne Morris $500,000 in FOSH money to squander on crayon drawings.  We spot our local hospital $500,000 (while hospitals across the nation are swimming in funds, when they would have to be wildly incompetent not to lose the money thrown at them by the federal government, we are losing money) to put an urgent care facility next to a Jimmy John's.  Hey, you blood glucose is wildly out of control, here's some Humalog and a 20% off coupon for a bacon turkey sub, freaky fast. Actually we taxpayers generously spotted the hospital an extra $51,000 on top of their built-in annual $500,000 loss.  That was to pay for all the fresh fruit at the monthly meetings, where a five-member board in charge of a failing, money-losing, inefficient, high staff turnover hospital sets the course not jus...

In fact, if anything, local business benefitted from the shutdown, as demonstrated from the January 2019 sales tax numbers. All this gloom and doom about the federal shutdown was a load of partisan poppycock.  Everyone now (in unison):  "More Shutdowns...More Shutdowns...More Shutdowns...Yea!!!"

Andrew Romanoff visited Estes Park on Sunday.  It's surprising no local media reported this exchange, if it happened during the Q&A portion of the meeting.  I'm certainly not claiming there aren't ignorant people living in Estes Park (it doesn't necessarily have to be an Estes Park resident), but it would seem, at a Democrat-hosted forum, the audience would have been a bit more progressive, and the questioner shouted down or strung up before the meeting's close. Update:  Apparently it is, and apparently, the unedited version puts other Estes Park attendees in a little better light.

No, actually, I don't know the brand This product is unboxed in the video that follows https://vimeo.com/267445863 I wonder if the local garden club would be interested in these?  I must admit I wasn't exactly sure of the utility or necessity of these products before doing a little internet research, but now it's clear that plants grow long and spindly without adequate sunlight, and what dedicated gardener in Estes Park would want their potato shoots growing long and spindly?  It's a shame grow lights were made obsolete by global warming - now that we have sunshine and no snow in Estes Park year-round, its obvious why this local seller is trying to unload his. Even though the internet and how-to videos go to great lengths to not indicate the primary utility of these products, I'm wondering if the picture below might provide a clue.  Are there people growing plants other than marigolds in Estes Park?  Shutter (shudder?) the thought.  It would be like h...