This just in: Kirby H. demands to be appointed to Platte River Power Authority board
Trustee Kirby H., the Estes Park town board member who is modeling her career after the character Tracy Flick in "Election", has asked for a special session tonight (Tuesday, April 30) to challenge the recent appointment of newly-elected mayor Gary Hall to the Platte River Power Authority (PRPA) board.
"This is an outrage", Kirby proclaimed, pullling out a pocket notebook and flipping to a page where she had written the word "outrage" in blue and yellow magic markers, heavily underlined in green. "I have lived in this community since 2014, and served on every committee, including the Yogurt Rehab Committee, that was available for me to serve on, and while I am happy to mouth the words "I would be happy to serve wherever" that is definitely not what I believe or deserve, which is that I deserve to replace Gary Hall on the PRPA board. I want to make it abundantly clear that, while I served on the Platte River Power Authority board in a purely imaginary, all in my mind, role, for the past four years, that does not preclude me from serving on the board now, or in the future, or prevent me from telling people how much I feel their pain from also not being given the opportunity to serve on the PRPA board."
At press time, the PRPA admitted they were flummoxed, since they only generally appoint mayors and town staff from the four participating communities to this board, and it is a purely honorary role anyway, since they will do whatever they want to circumvent their joke proposal to go carbon neutral by 2050 but, recognizing she meant business, quickly ushered Trustee Kirby onto a board they created specifically for her, giving her a desk in a broom closet along with some Rubik's Cube-type puzzle games to occupy her for two hours a week.
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