The historic nonsense of "Bird & Jim"
Our current museum director is too timid to even wander into his office, let alone out of it, while our Falstaffian historian laureate is probably too busy scanning the front of the menu when he ventures out for more nosh and brew, but whoever "Bird & Jim" consulted for their Big Bold history served up for public consumption on the back of their menus should be allowed to finish the sixth grade before contributing more to Estes Park folklore.
Nowhere in extant photos of Isabella Bird or descriptions of James Nugent were either known to wear a sombrero, so the graphic of "someone" going full Cabo on horseback, likely stolen from an old "Man of La Mancha" playbill, should be round-filed. The "original structure of the Sundeck built in 1926" is pure concocted bullshit. The only historically accurate word rescued from that entire phrase is "in". The Sundeck didn't even start out (in the 1950s, not the 1920s) with that name. Anna Wolfrom Dove had something out at Beaver Point in the 1920s, but without photographs (and there are none) 100% USDA prime guarantee it sure as hell wasn't where or what the Sundeck used as starting material. You had the Sundeck owner's personal family history to consult prior to opening, was this how effectively you trampled over this knowledge?
While Ms. Bird is out "transgressing boundaries of gender", your manufactured napkin scrawl transgresses all rules of English syntax. "In her letters home," you state, "Bird prides [sic, ever hear of past tense?] herself on her [sic redundancy] being a "cattleman" roused out of bed in the early morning hours by her host being asked to stay on longer [sic, was her host being asked to stay on longer?]…[the elision made necessary by more horrific abuse of our mother tongue, but I had to stop to staunch the eye bleed]"
Random dung balls of grief and inaccuracy: Ms. Bird's stay in Estes Park, while interrupted, extended well beyond your provided date of 20 October 1873...Ms. Bird stayed with the "Evans" family, not the "Griff" family..."Herding cattle" was at most a two-day impromptu activity on her itinerary, hardly worth highlighting as the reason or main accomplishment of her visit...Estes Park wasn't a town in 1868..."Mountain Jim" had a name, which appears on things like deeds. Why rely solely on a nickname to introduce him?...What is a "western" inhabitant of Estes Park, and how would such an inhabitant be distinguished from an "eastern" inhabitant? Did Estes Park employ a lot of coolie labor at the time of Ms. Bird's visit?..Ms. Bird's book was first published in 1879. Most of the quotes pulled for this butchery first appeared in serialized form in 1878. Why use a 1960 reprint as the definitive source for a "footnote" using an asterisk with no preceding twin to justify its use, unless out of academic laziness (i.e., whatever cheap paperback you had on hand) or lack of knowledge of how sourcing works?
I pray the food at "Bird & Jim" isn't as inauthentic and penny-whistle as the manufactured crap fricassee staining the back of their menu. But I'm not liable to find out anytime soon, because I tend to frequent businesses based on the owner's knowledge of where they came from, not ones crafting foolish fantasy stories intended to charm aspiring fake gastronomes with fake origin stories.
AP, please copy
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| "How far can we stretch this tripe before they stop buying it?" |
Nowhere in extant photos of Isabella Bird or descriptions of James Nugent were either known to wear a sombrero, so the graphic of "someone" going full Cabo on horseback, likely stolen from an old "Man of La Mancha" playbill, should be round-filed. The "original structure of the Sundeck built in 1926" is pure concocted bullshit. The only historically accurate word rescued from that entire phrase is "in". The Sundeck didn't even start out (in the 1950s, not the 1920s) with that name. Anna Wolfrom Dove had something out at Beaver Point in the 1920s, but without photographs (and there are none) 100% USDA prime guarantee it sure as hell wasn't where or what the Sundeck used as starting material. You had the Sundeck owner's personal family history to consult prior to opening, was this how effectively you trampled over this knowledge?
While Ms. Bird is out "transgressing boundaries of gender", your manufactured napkin scrawl transgresses all rules of English syntax. "In her letters home," you state, "Bird prides [sic, ever hear of past tense?] herself on her [sic redundancy] being a "cattleman" roused out of bed in the early morning hours by her host being asked to stay on longer [sic, was her host being asked to stay on longer?]…[the elision made necessary by more horrific abuse of our mother tongue, but I had to stop to staunch the eye bleed]"
Random dung balls of grief and inaccuracy: Ms. Bird's stay in Estes Park, while interrupted, extended well beyond your provided date of 20 October 1873...Ms. Bird stayed with the "Evans" family, not the "Griff" family..."Herding cattle" was at most a two-day impromptu activity on her itinerary, hardly worth highlighting as the reason or main accomplishment of her visit...Estes Park wasn't a town in 1868..."Mountain Jim" had a name, which appears on things like deeds. Why rely solely on a nickname to introduce him?...What is a "western" inhabitant of Estes Park, and how would such an inhabitant be distinguished from an "eastern" inhabitant? Did Estes Park employ a lot of coolie labor at the time of Ms. Bird's visit?..Ms. Bird's book was first published in 1879. Most of the quotes pulled for this butchery first appeared in serialized form in 1878. Why use a 1960 reprint as the definitive source for a "footnote" using an asterisk with no preceding twin to justify its use, unless out of academic laziness (i.e., whatever cheap paperback you had on hand) or lack of knowledge of how sourcing works?
I pray the food at "Bird & Jim" isn't as inauthentic and penny-whistle as the manufactured crap fricassee staining the back of their menu. But I'm not liable to find out anytime soon, because I tend to frequent businesses based on the owner's knowledge of where they came from, not ones crafting foolish fantasy stories intended to charm aspiring fake gastronomes with fake origin stories.
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| So to avoid copyright violation by using a known image of Isabella Bird or James Nugent, you instead risk copyright violation by stealing from Don Quixote? |
why do you have to be so nasty? “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do" - Ben Franklin
ReplyDeleteBecause Estes Park's actual history is important. Not the shit history doled out to unsuspecting tourists, but the real history of our pioneers. Do you want to honor them, or make a mockery of them?
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