epgarbage

Published October 25, 2020   •   Updated on  October 25, 2020  at  7:24 pm     While we were all distracted by the shiny object referred to as the Cameron Peak fire, old East Troublesome snuck in through the back door, jumped the protective moat and everything.  Meanwhile, while we were all distracted by evacuations, those Covid-19 bowel evacuations we were all so proud to announce were being monitored have gone begging (what was the point of monitoring sewer water if we weren’t going to do anything with the data?  Or warn the public about when the trend line started standing upright?)  Seems like Uncle CoV II just slipped into Estes through the back, back door, and we are going to start feeling some major butt pain up in here, coupled with air hunger.  We’ve gone from a case a week to a case a day, and even Harmony will tell you that signifies major trouble for our rehab hospital capacity two weeks hence.  Maybe we should just...

Jeffrey Toobin is probably, or was probably, the most gifted legal mind on CNN.  That isn't saying much, because the competition was, what?, Alan Dershowitz?, but Jeffrey definitely thought a lot of himself, and, apparently, finally got caught worshipping at his own altar.   The "I didn't know the gun was loaded" defense has rarely elicited anything but groans, so why did he even bother making excuses about thinking his Zoom was on "mute", as if the fapping, grunting noises contributed in any way to his demise .  Those "Oh-Ohs" could always be brushed off as faked (Harry Met Handy), so I'm guessing there are some visuals, which we will all be exposed to shortly. I'm also guessing most males reading this (save Anthony Weiner) will not be willing to grant the "there, but for the grace of God, go I" sympathy nod.  You get caught waxing the dolphin off camera, never with film rolling, unless it is intentional, a cry for help, or so in...

  Debbie Gibson is Estes Park’s version of Jimmy “Two Fingers” Gambino.  Estes Park should start advertising this VEP CEO job as "work for one year, get paid for three".  What a joke, sending the condolence letter to the county commissioners at 1:30 a.m. on Sunday morning.  Not that it was going to get any coverage anyway.  Why do you think Debbie and Scott act with zero concern over how this looks to the public or the press?  There is no public or press to be concerned with.   Estes Park is both the most morally fetid and the least mentally checked-in community in the Rockies.  We could have a serial rapist running through town molesting every fourth resident, and the outrage rally would be the same threadbare seven people soliciting horn honks on the corner of Elkhorn and Virginia Drive.  Why get worked up about another $500K flushed down the toilet?  Why not instead run and dust the turds off your resume?  VEP is hiring, and...

As you settle in to your temporary quarters after mandatory evacuation, or prepare for mandatory evacuation, be sure to set aside some time for yourself.  Perhaps the flames are licking at your tires, maybe you are wondering whether you have enough gas in your tank, literally, to make it to Lyons, but take a page from our mayor's book of wonder, and pull over and do something while idling that you enjoy, maybe scuba diving in a kelp forest, maybe stamp collecting, maybe avoiding Mayor's Chats with impunity while pretending to serve the common man.   As you read this, with SARS-CoV-2 cases rising locally and flames leapfrogging pine-to-pine over yonder hill, our mayor is in Wyoming, fishing and "recharging", not unobtrusively, and not as a western states government conference attendee, perhaps a Colorado River water rights compact representative or PRPA alternative fuel congress committee member, mixing serious business on forest management or vaccine distribution with...

Red alert:  This afternoon, October 8, 2020, at 21:41 p.m. GMT, the Larimer County risk "needle" for coronavirus edged into the "high" category.  Whether or not this is an actual emergency ("this is a test, this is only a test, of the Emergency Red Needle System") remains to be seen, meaning don't tune into local AM 1470, now or ever, because that frequency is only used to ad nauseam promote Elk Fest and dialing before your dig.   Did Wendy Koenig-Schuett know she was going to be elected mayor during a pandemic?  She claims "no", but all signs on the Magic 8 Ball point to YES, as the outbreak hit our shores in February 2020, and she was elected in April 2020.  Unless she was in a coma, or doesn't understand the nature of transmission.  Whether or not she is capable of governing during a pandemic is another question.  Was a former railroad construction worker the best qualified to finish the job on the Panama Canal?  No, that required an A...