epgarbage

The best rendition of "Grown Up Christmas List" is one of the earliest, with Natalie Cole's pure phrasing backed by David Foster's accompaniment and harmony (reprised in this 1996 video). One line in particular strikes me, preceded by the wishful "Every man would have a friend". The hopeful "That right would always win" seems like the biggest stretch of all (besides the requisite "wars not starting" plea that will never occur until humans are replaced by robot overlords). When David Foster released this song in 1990, it was virtually ignored.  Note again for the record:  One of the currently most covered Christmas songs in recent history was virtually ignored and didn't even chart upon its initial release.  You want a comeback story, here is a comeback story.  Mannheim Steamroller recycles electronified crap year upon year, and dominates the holiday airwaves.  David Foster releases a song that, while admittedly pap, at least ...

Another year, another twenty-six fortnights of near-flawless predictions and foresight.  If the Estes Valley Valley Administrator gets 4 column inches to brag about all his girth and accomplishments (note no mention of the rampant racism and pedophilia he failed to address again this year, and in fact condoned by failing to address it in any meaningful sense, ever), those who possess a similar skill set and work for much less money are entitled to shower themselves with credit as well:  The Baldpate didn't sell, EVIC didn't break ground, VEP broke wind, EVPL broke down, finally carting off EV local history to the bagel bin (which, BTW, didn't hold a program for two months bcuz of "reprogramming"), the EVTG faltered mightily when it came to investigating anything of consequence besides EF's bootie hole, EVMC recall committee failed to place any of their candidates (if they had any) on the board either time through, and so forth, and so on. It is a wonderful t...

VEP is back, passing a provisional 2018 budget without stipulation (except the splash pad and climbing wall is on hold pending state approval) and appointing a temporary records custodian without yielding to urges to pay the former CEO another $20,000 for serving so admirably as the prior one. It is clear there is still a major disconnect between the "stakeholders" (meaning, in their minds, the business owners who pay for ads and editorial content in the visitors guide (which, by the way, VEP makes no apology for printing 20,000 too many of each year, as leftovers are sent to fourth graders along the front range (are there even 20,000 fourth graders in the entire state of Colorado?), who promptly discard them and thus save VEP the landfill costs)) and their unwanted "overseers" (meaning the town board and county commissioners).  VEP would like to be able to overspend (they call it "negative cash flow", the general public calls it "irresponsible...

So the five years of contortions and bullshi* Stan Black et al. dragged the community through FOR NOTHING have finally come to an end.  EPIC was unable to raise even the $50,000 required to hire a professional fundraiser, necessitating the plundering of FOSH funds.  Those trustees who voted to allow FOSH funds to be used in such a reckless fashion will have to answer for it next election cycle. EPIC remnants are now trolling for another site, apparently acknowledging without really acknowledging the complete stupidity of ramming a giant megalith into an area with no parking.  As Stan and the boys are finally coming to their senses and taking suggestions, I can think of no better place for the entire proposal than 455 Elm Road.  Perhaps the plans and all the donor funds contributed over the past 20 years can be efficiently funneled into this location. Ample seating for 200, plus rehearsal space, without having to beggar a dime.

I'm sure everyone is aware William Sydney Porter spent three years in a Columbus Ohio, federal penitentiary in the late 1890s.  Porter, who most people will better recognize by the pen name (no pun intended) O. Henry, embezzled $4000 (other sources suggest $1000) from an Austin, Texas bank (where he held a $100/month teller job), having initially fled to Honduras to avoid trial. William Sydney Porter with his wife and daughter around the time he began stealing funds from the First National Bank in Austin, Texas His wife's illness convinced him to return to the United States and face the music, but things were not exactly going swimmingly in Central America (claims of acquiring a fruit farm notwithstanding, he found employment mostly as a manual laborer during his six month stay). So let's all lift a glass this holiday season to the ex-con American who coined the term "Banana Republic" and wrote the most famous Christmas story this side of the Atlantic, one...

Opponents of capital punishment will easily recognize the following individual, while advocates of retributive justice, or those on the sidelines, might need an additional hint, for example, a photograph of the actress who portrayed her in a 1995 movie Dead Man Walking, the movie, drastically altered important details of the real-life story recorded by Sister Helen Prejean in Dead Man Walking, the book.  Those of you who get your history from Netflix would be well served to read at least the first few chapters of the book, paying close attention to circa-1980 Louisiana (and more broadly, U.S.) arrest and incarceration statistics, especially the racial disparity between those sentenced to die and their victims (killing a white person was, and still is, much more likely to result in a death sentence in states with capital punishment than killing an African-American). Sister Prejean's actual initial pen pal was Elmo Patrick Sonnier, not Matthew Poncelett (the Sean Penn chara...

If the Trail-Gazette's reporting is accurate (I haven't seen the documents myself, and those responsible for this largesse are being mum), our VEP CEO left with an FUEP (figure it out) severance package of one additional year of an already-inflated salary, courtesy of our Lodging Association.  I truly hope Curly can find it in her heart to give generously to various worthy nonprofits around town before her departure (or maybe she'll apply for the head of roads and bridges, given her guaranteed super-positive recommendation from Sean "Hand Lotion" Jurgens), because someone sure as hell charity-balled her $125,000 more than she deserved. We're sorry things didn't work out.  How, about, as a parting gift for a job not well done, we give you a Mercedes only Wall Street investment bankers and major league baseball players can afford? But good on her.  All you need to do to succeed financially in this town is get appointed to a position you are unqualif...

but the gold and silver markets certainly don't reflect actual concern.  Look at this six-month chart of gold, priced in U.S. dollars: The silver chart is similar: If the $2.50/ounce price drop in silver from early September until early December is any indication, no one is seriously worried about our world being one crazed dictator's or reactionary world leader's disappointing breakfast omelet away from global thermonuclear war. Sorry to break the news to you, panicky CNN devotees, but, similar to a world awash in supposed climate change fears with no reactionary immediate mass exodus from coastal cities, your behavior doesn't support the talk.  Instead, you seem to be more than willing to keep piling your investments into paper. Of course, the counter-argument is that no one is stockpiling gold or silver right now because they don't see any reason to have any wealth or stability or bartering power post-apocalypse - they would rather just be dead than ...

Ain't no more updates, this 'un is final: For comparison, the final "unofficial" tally a few weeks back for the short-term board positions was David Batey 1839 Linda Hanak 1386 Sandy Begley 2006 John Meissner (write-in) 213 Which means 8 additional ballots were cast (or withheld for purposes of "shielding" foreign ballots, then released, 16 potential votes maximum), with Sandy Begley getting 6 votes on these eight ballots, David Batey 5 votes on these eight ballots, and Linda Hanak 5 votes on these eight ballots.  (Only possible permutation is:  Batey-Begley combo 3, Batey-Hanak combo 2, Hanak-Begley combo 3) The "unofficial" tally a few weeks back for the long-term board positions was Monty Miller 1566 Bill Pinkham 2066 Bert Bergland 1243 Bruch Carmichael 1394 Diane Muno 1930 Again, it is easiest to explain these changes by 8 additional ballots being cast (or released from quarantine, 24 potential votes maximum) with Monty Miller...

I feel not-so-good-so about the recently announced resignation of the VEP CEO, and I'm certainly not one to pile on, or demand credit when a surprising and completely unpredicted outcome goes a certain way (meaning my way, but that comes across as insolent).  We pick people and then we pick on those people - My only weasel justification is that I wasn't ever asked to pick this particular person, sit in on the interview process, or weigh in with my thoughts.  I'm just the buzzard that hangs around hangs around stranded emigrants, and either you acknowledge the wagon train is being circled by carrion eaters, or you start boiling your shoelaces and culling the stock I don't know if the CEO is who I originally thought she was, or bowed to the inevitable weight of who too many people, particularly people who wielded power (meaning not me), incorrectly thought she wasn't.  Her coffee circle will decry the bum rap, her enemies will bay at the moon and hope the door taps ...